One of the greatest parts of making a new close friend is catching up on the intimate details of life, I think. The things you don’t share with just everyone. The “naked” stuff, with all the real uglinesses that say, “This is the ‘real’ me, for better or worse, and I’m totally trusting right now that you will be honorable with the knowledge I am about to impart on you.”
I am not a very trusting person, so friendships like this are few and far between.
…But “M” has graduated to this status on more than one occasion, and it is nice to have those people to check in with in essential life, “come to Jesus” moments, to say, “Am I totally wacked here, or do you see this thing too?”
…”M” is all over that shit. And it’s comforting to have a person, live before me, to be like, “Listen up, things are happening right now that frankly scare the shit out of me, and what do you think about it?” Also, “You know the history and the personal quirks and where I’m coming from, so am I totally outta line here, or is this normal shit that will take care of itself?”
…Sometimes I’m just terrible with “perspective,” and need a dude-chick without overt emotion to say, “yes, you are totally outta control,” or “no, you are doing exactly what you should.” I’m fiercely independent, all, but when it comes to certain aspects of life, I become more backward than a teenage boy. And that is the truth.
…But what is another truth is that “friends” were put on this earth, to save you. From others AND yourself, in equal measure. If you are smart, you will listen to their counsel, because they are aware of more things than you think, just by watching and listening, when you don’t. They are the true holders of the “truth,’ will (hopefully) call you on your own bullshit, and recommend you in high favor when the time is ripe. Because it is what friends do.
Also, they will build even further trust by being a comfort and lending a laugh and insisting that you aren’t NEARLY as fucked up as you have every right to be, and ANYONE would be lucky to be stuck with all your weird quirks for life.
…It’s a special level of truth and lying to you…which isn’t really lying, because they really believe it (for some odd reason), which makes them totally endearing humans, when (by and large) you could do very easily without the entire race, if given the option right now.
What I’m saying is: I had another hugely helpful talk, with a person in the know about all the ism’s that make up a “me.” And I feel a lot better now. And that’s a good thing. And I’m lucky.
…That’s all.
~D
