This is me, three days before surgery to remove the melanoma from my face last September. Sarah Downie took a series of photos. So grateful!
I went to a workshop nine days ago that was aimed to work
with women who were dealing with cancer and their stories.
I didn’t want to go to the workshop particularly, but I felt I needed to go so I went and I’m glad I went but damn, I resent that I have to be attending a woman dealing with cancer thing, especially when some folks just don’t get that dealing with cancer doesn’t end with the surgery or the remission or the end of chemo or the ending of whatever the person’s treatment has been.
Facts are facts: I will continue to return to my doctor every six months for skin checks. Recurrence is fairly likely, hopefully it won’t be overly invasive next time. I have gotten better at not simmering in it, but there are moments when I still poke a hot stick into my scar saying, “The place where the cancer was deepest continues to be a grizzled sight to me. It has only been five months, it has only been five months, it has only been five months….”
"Women Get Cancer" Mixed Media: 2009 & 2013 by Julie Jordan Scott
I am pleased to see the continued processing from the
workshop is coming out via art because words can’t express what I have to say
about it most of the time. I don’t want to talk to friends about it. It makes
me feel even more self conscious than I do now.
Women get cancer. I got cancer. I have recovered from cancer. Cancer doesn’t create who I am AND I may use my cancer to continue to express myself creatively. I never know when my creative process and product will be exactly what another person needs to see, to feel what she needs to feel, to get to the roots of what she needs to process.
May we all, collectively, feel better about our relationship with cancer. And if we feel a sense of resentment or whatever it is we feel, may we find people, places and projects which will help us to express the inexpressable.
= = =
Julie
Jordan Scott is a Creative Life Coach, a Poet Performer, a Writer and a
Mommy Extraordinaire. Stay in touch with her via twitter or facebook or
you may always call or text her at 661.444.2735 to arrange a
complimentary coaching session.
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© 2013 by Julie Jordan Scott
