So a few readers (mainly my family members that I test to see if they’ve read my posts…) said they wanted me to keep posting my Facebook posts from the week. I think they just might feel bad about never giving me a Barbie Dreamhouse but I’ve worked through that after years of therapy and can finally say that I’m OK. Sort of. Maybe. Ok, well I’m still pissed but hey, I’m a work in progress.
Monday: I left an exercise class at the gym today 10 minutes before it ended. I could feel the stares from the skinny 20-year-old girls next to me. Next time I’m going to wear a shirt that says, “Don’t talk to me until you’ve had a placenta in your body” – I think that would do the trick…
Tuesday: My daughter just looked at my son when I was changing his diaper and said, “Well hello Big Penis” Uhmm…..not sure what to do with that one. Am I upset that she calls him that or that she thinks a 23 month old penis is large?
Wednesday: Loading PEZ into the dispenser must be the number one way parents lose a finger.
Thursday: If they gave an award for Most Wanting To Wet The Bed, I would surely get it. Damn bladder woke me up right when Clooney was making his move. Come back George!
Friday: Warning: Do not use the shuffle feature on ITunes unless you want your kids to hear The Humpty Dance after Elmo’s Song is finished…. You’ll have to answer a lot of questions you aren’t prepared for.
