I went cold turkey, quitting chocolates, chips, candy, various other junk food items and pani-puri in the same day. Now, for a girl who has probably been comfort eating since she was 9 years old, giving up the very foundation of content leads to a considerable amount of emotional and existential angst. I actually got over my ex because I had food to re-bound with. This translates into many unfortunate incidents. It starts off by becoming hormonal. Not the usual PMS hormonal, but oh-my-fuck-this-is-adolesence-all-over-again hormonal. It's the maa-behen-nani-dadi of PMS. And to add some more fun to it, you don't even realize it's because you've suddenly corrected your skewed body systems.
Then, you start becoming moody, since novels aren't the same without chocolate and gourmet and nothing is what is used to be without pani-puri. Even Comedy Night with Kapil fails to cheer me up.
After a few weeks of this hell, where you feel happy, then sad, then suicidal, then homicidal then everything and homicidal, the doctor who has ruined your life so far says, "You need to stay away from Maggie." By now, your emotions are no longer complacent viewers, content with their hoard of pani-puri. You rebel. Pani-Puri is indulged on the sly, chocolate is gained from ill-conceived means and By God, you eat Maggie till you WANT to stay away from it.
Amidst all of this, you see that your body has reacted well to the lack of mind-altering substances and has shed cholesterol and WBCs are multiplying on their own. You start questioning your decision to take up Pani-puri again. This is where it all falls apart. This is when you become depressed, irritable, sleepy, unable to focus and the whole schebang. At some point, you will find yourself wandering aimlessly at a park while not knowing where you're supposed to go. But it is 8 and you better head back home before your mommy calls.
Contrary to what you may believe, this has nothing to do with anything but your brain telling you that it cannot function solely on human sympathy and what not. It needs pani-puri, dahi-puri, chocolate, brownie and you can't negotiate on that fact. But you can't be taking those drips and capsules that artificially multiply your WBCs all the time. And someday, you might want to look look-able to impress a selected few.
#LessonForToday: I am pissed and bored. Stay away. No, talk. Ping. Get lost. Also, I love Pani-Puri.
