Getting Caught Up.

I run, I run fast as I feel the breaths tumbling out of me; I can scarcely breathe as I feel my feet hit the wet forest floor, smacking the puddles, the brown sludge that vaguely resembles mud. I run and run; splash, thump, thump, thump; my heart or my feet. And as I run I tumble into webs that house the largest spiders; webs that entangle you in a maze of complexities and that overwhelm you with confusion. I get caught by tree branches that catch on my hair and make me yelp; an animal in pain. I get caught my rocks that are sometimes so visible and sometimes aren't all that visible; still I question, why did I fall over them? I fall over them because misdirected decisions, because I run too quick; I'm going full speed. I can't slow down, how can I when all I've ever done is keep running; thump, thump, thump; my heart or my head?
Everything's so dizzy, why can't I sit down, sit in those trees that bask in the sunlight; a huge willow by a lake. Why do I keep running; it's all I know, it's all I know, it's all I know; a mantra in my head. I know It's all I know. Why can't I just stop, stop, just stop. I will my legs to stop and still they fall, still they get caught up, still I run. Oh mother, sooth my legs with plasters and cloudy lemonade on lazy Sunday afternoons. Revive this surely dead body; this body so soiled and so bruised. "Mummy?" I'm like a child in the basement for the first time, the flash light's broken; "mummy?" I'm that child so alone, and still I run. In pursuit, pursuit of what? Of the meaning of life? Of finding who I am? Of learning from my mistakes? Truth is what you need.
"Take a dose of truth" the Doctor looks weird, I can't trust him. His skin is this tint of neon yellow, his eyes are blue a blue like a burst ink pen, his iris' just visible. "Take it" he has a stethoscope and a coat, surely I must trust. I take the toxic green medicine; it's chocking me, I can't breath. I keep running.
I'm out now, I'm in a field where all the trees are surrounded in this clearing. I see a huge oak tree, my mother is in a floral dress of soft greens and yellows; delicate flowers. I see you. I see you with your smile, your soft hazy blue eyes; soft not harsh. You welcome me with your arms and I am home, I am home with you; my love.
I know I certainly get caught up in my own mistakes and problems. I think sometimes we just have to do what's best for us. You never know when something better is coming around the corner; keep running no matter how bruised you are. The end will come soon and bless you with rich fruits but, the end can only come if you keep going no matter the trials and errors you are going through. Everything WILL work out.

Love,
TSITR x