Growing up and Realising It.

Hey guys,
Today has been a really weird day. Not only have I learnt that I'm now a full fledged "adult" I also feel a sense of who I am and my identity. Let me explain as briefly as possible; I have dyspraxia making it hard to socialise; some would disagree, some agree. I tend to go towards my own personal experience; that I've always found it very hard to approach people, and I think it is one "disability" that isn't talked about enough in the press. Upon meeting three friends in bizzare coincidences whilst with another close friend, it was that day that my life changed. I was introduced to a weird, wonderful world in Essex and it was there that my life changed.  I won't specifically note the place, but there I met a variety of people that I could personally approach. From that day forward, my dyspraxia was easier and more controllable; I had friends at a distance, but still enough to be my friends and closest advisor's.
 That was four years ago; in four years I have started University, moved out and notably further away from these friends; making in harder to see them. Whilst back at my parents I decided to visit them. Firstly, I wasn't expecting so little people to show up; these were meant to be my closest friends and advisor's. I don't want to be pig headed or arrogant; a lot of them are very intellectual people but have a certain lack of determination. Whereas, a lot of my close few friends where I live all went to University. I don't know if it was down to area or if they simply didn't want to go. It's not the answer for everyone. Indeed a close friend who's name I shall disclose had said about going to University this year. But this lack for determination has seemed to reflect off on me; when I had tried my hardest to be their friends they had not returned the favour. I understand, a lot of them lack any money, I get that I've been there yet, I knew that if I tried super hard in my a-levels I'd get to my goal. Secondly, I had always visited them, they had never come to see me; again I get the idea of money and lack of it. It didn't bother me, I just got on with it and saw them when I could.
However; today I really got to know who those were my closest advisor's and true friends. They came in the most random of people. Overall, I saw three friends today which is no way close to the 16/18 I used to have. However; I'm more than grateful for these people.  The third one confuses me, I can't understand him and I can't seem to get through to him; it's complicated. But I just wish people would understand how difficult it is for me sometimes, I'm not asking for a sympathy vote, far from it. If anything, I have finally understood who I am. Whether I'll see these friends; I will defiantly the visit one hopefully coming to University not far from where I am is yet to be decided.
All I can say is that I'm blessed by the experiences God has given me. A lot of these people have shaped my views and outgoings on life and each one of them; old and new has blessed with me tiny gifts. That is all I can ask for. However; I think the road is over and the book is closed on that chapter in my life. I had to go there just to confirm who I was, who my friends were, what my identity is and I think I've understood that now. I think I can finally open the doors and step outside; breath the fresh air and set foot into another part; a better part; a rocky part; any part of my life. For me that is such an exciting path but I know that this experience will stay with me forever.
Love,
TSITR