1. Be excited that as a parent your child is motivated to earn their own money and become a small business owner. Tell them how proud of them you are for coming up with this idea and taking their financial situation into their own hands.
2. Look in cabinet and curse loudly and profusely when you realize you agreed to this plan without actually having any lemonade or cups.
3. Go to grocery store for lemonade and cups. Walk out having spent $150 and six bags of groceries.
4. As children are attempting to make lemonade inside , carry out a folding table and two heavy-as-bloody-hell chairs outside in 92 degree heat.
5. Return to the kitchen to find a mound of lemonade powder on the floor, a puddle of water on the step stool and two children who think it is hilarious to dunk their heads into the pitcher to drink directly from it.
6. Together, though really mostly by yourself, clean up mess and fill pitcher with lemonade.
7. Carry all items to table, only to spill numerous times and have to stop when one child hits the other child with the bag of cups.
8. While both children sit in time-out, spend 20 minutes searching for the markers and poster board from the spot you hid them in last time your son drew penises all over his sister’s arm.
9. Have children make signs and stand over them so they don’t write “Lemonass” instead of “Lemonade.”
10. Just as the very first customer walks up, realize that you are still in your pajamas and now you are flashing the new elderly neighbor man your goodies.
11. Feel embarrassed until you realize he just gave your kids a $2 tip.
12. Go inside, change clothes, pour cup of coffee and sit down to read the paper for… 2 minutes. Until the kids come running in asking for more lemonade.
13. Repeat 4 more times until finally they say those words that every parent dreads, “I’m bored. I’m done with the lemonade stand.”
14. Add vodka to you cup of lemonade and go back to reading the newspaper.
This is what happens when you ask your kids to smile for a “Nice Lemonade Stand Picture”
