To both, I only smile. For only I know what those 6 days mean to me.Here is a blog to one of the motivating interactions I had at the conference with this girl from Jaipur, whose name I forgot to ask, whose face I do not remember.)
We were supposed to be sharing "STORY OF YOUR LIFE" with the unknown person on our left. Icebreaker. I started with "I am an engineering drop-out" and sat dumb.
As if my life had nothing more than that one year I wasted jumping from one engineering college to another, in pursuit of satisfaction.
"So your one year is gone?", she questioned curiously as I mentally tried all the 'cool-down' techniques to stop myself from punching her on face.
"Yeah"I felt a year behind.
For the last one year, I have taken immense proud in telling people about my 'The Bold Step' but deep down, I have felt like a loser.
Loser who took wrong decision and wasted her parent's money.
Loser who didn't enjoy Calculus and all that jazz.
I questioned my potential and doubted my abilityAnd no, 3 Idiots had no impact on that one decision I made- shifting from Engineering to Psychology. And that moment suddenly, I felt guilty for that one year gone.But I shouldn't be. This girl said so. She made me count my that one lost year. Like major events of the year. She said it would help.
That one lost year..
- I made friends with amazing bunch of people.These 6 friends I am telling you about, are the ones who stay forever types. Hopefully.
- I became Miss Fresher's (NOW STOP LAUGHING!) in that college, participated in almost every event of cultural fest, did good, took up fights with a few professors (Also the trustee of the college) and enjoyed the shit out of my lost moments.
- I got selected for IIT-B's Techfest and won 3 competitions.
- I loved.
- I battled a medically unfit state for a year or so. I had ample moments when I cried, felt helpless, developed suicidal tendencies, couldn't take the pain anymore.I challenged my body and won. I learned overcoming my own limits.
- I worked in a news-channel for 4 months, earned quite a lot with a lot of experience. I also learned how to tackle seniors who see you as their competition for no specific reason. I went on field and learned how being a Deepak Chorasia isn't easy.
- I worked in a couple of online magazines, contributed some articles which made sense.
- I joined a couple of NGOs, taught some 50 kids, made them happy and jived at the end of each session. I learned how much making others happy makes me happy.
- I made a little place for me in the virtual world. This blog.
- I succumbed to what they call yellow magic pill - Alprax .My idea of consuming it everytime I felt disturbed was simple - Escape. To run away from reality. I loved the feeling of how everything seemed sorted, thoughts arranged and emotions unaffected for the next 3-4 hours.With this, I not only made my health more miserable but it also shook up my life everytime I woke up after the magic effect.
I gradually realized that it is not what emotional state you are in that matters, but rather how you deal with it to create a stable permanence.
I also learned that picking up "bad-habits" is easy. Getting rid of them is tough. With this, I mean very very tough. - I do not regret being inadequate now. I am happier than I could ever be.
Thank you Jaipur girl.For making me realize that all that matters is to recount past and appreciate yourself for all the mistakes made and all the achievements gained.
For making me realize that all that matters is THAT one step in pursuit of happiness.
I have a better story of my life now.
I gradually realized that it is not what emotional state you are in that matters, but rather how you deal with it to create a stable permanence.
I also learned that picking up "bad-habits" is easy. Getting rid of them is tough. With this, I mean very very tough.
