Diaries Magazine

In Sickness and In Wealth | In Poetry and in Possibilities

Posted on the 04 May 2022 by Sani09 @sani09

Falling sick leads to resting so long in bed that you can't help but to take a trip down the memory lane. I am out of living-in-the-now moments. My now is the bed and the pillow and the blanket while my Dad turns on the AC in his room. It's summer for them and winter for me. We are in Guwahati. And I am weak after my once-in-a-lifetime 103.6 degree fever. 

(P.S. I didn't take any medicine until the fever subsided to 102.6 and then to 101.4 and finally to 101.2. Since I never get fever easily, and even in covid the maximum fever I got was 101.2, I let my body's natural healing capacity get to work in the unusually high fever. Either that or I would go straight to the hospital to find out the cause. No gulping paracetamol mindlessly to subside the fever when it's something so unusual. Finally I took the paracetamol only when it was the usual 101.2 and to relax the body pains. Don't try this at home alone though. I did this with complete faith in my body and my alternative healing practices.)

So, I have still been resting from the past three days, not going out, not even out of the room. Past memories are natural to arise. There are two incidences I need to heal from and the work is in progress.

Here, I want to write, in order to record it forever, something amazing that had happened in 2019. I should have blogged about it then but life was in a rush.

We often undermine all the amazing things we actually create with our mind and mindset. We forget about it and call it serendipity. But the right mindset is an asset that creates so much more for us.

It was August 2019 in Bangalore. I had signed myself up for an open-mic poetry event for the first time after shifting to Bangalore. That entire morning I was nervous. I haven't done many open-mics before. My poetry is not very suited for open mics as it is for reading. Fewer similes. More metaphors. I have done recitations before but not the new-age spoken word poetry (which is different than regular poetry or micro poetry).

Anyway, I spent the entire day nervous and doing nothing. When it was time for me to leave the house for the venue I decided a few things to calm myself down -

1. I selected two poems from my book The Art of Letting Go and bookmarked the pages so that I don't have to memorize the number and then risk forgetting it on stage.

2. I decided I would just go and listen to the other poets there with an open mind and heart. I won't compare if they are better than me or younger than me or anything. I won't worry that I was new to the city or going alone or that I am from a small town. I won't feel good or bad if people like my poems or not. I will just go there and observe what Bangalore has in store for poetry.

With this, I went ahead for the event. It was a beautiful event and I listened to so many poems, all attentively. I sat by myself and didn't bother to forcefully introduce myself to anyone sitting beside me. I observed people- some came by themselves, some came with a bunch of friends. Some were there to recite their poetry and some just to support others. I wish I had such supporters. Even if I do I would never know because I never asked anyone to.

Anyway, the unexpected result of my no-judgement no-prejudice participation was that by the end of the event people surrounded me to ask about my book. I still considered it only the effect of the book in hand until I came home and saw some great pics and tags for me.  Days or months later the host of the event even uploaded a single pic of mine and mentioned the names of the poems I recited. How did she remember? And the fact that she even listened to it in the first place, not just the poems but the titles too?

I would have never experienced all this if I had just gone there for the purpose of narrating my poetry with a superiority or an inferiority complex. I would have either shown too much attitude and pomp or too much meekness. I feel the open-mind and heart thing helped open doors to serendipitous connections.

Later the host became an acquaintance. Two years later she became my teacher for a course. And a month later, she called me for advice and suggestions on something.

This is the power of possibilities. Every time we want things to turn out in a specific way we conclude. Conclusions are restrictive. Conclusions are limiting.

When we move ahead with an open mind and heart, we open doors to different possibilities we never imagined in the first place. Possibilities are creative. Possibilities are limitless. Possibilities are expansive.

And when you feel expansive, that's where the real wealth lies. Right riches for you.

Affirmation: I am willing to receive much more than I can imagine.

Question: What can this create for me? What is truly possible here? What can I receive here? ( this: any situation you are judging/concluding)

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