Welcome Snarkfest - we’re happy to have you Inside the Blogger’s Studio! This series is a way to get to know other bloggers, while also getting a glimpse into the life of a fellow parent. Who doesn’t love feeling like they aren’t the only ones going crazy?
How can you not love a blog that has the word “snarky” in it? Her awesome sarcasm is highly appreciated. Beyond being a great blogger, she’s now also a published author. She’s one of the blogger’s who contributed to I Just Want To Pee Alone, a collection of hilarious essays from mom bloggers who make you laugh so hard that water comes out of your nose. Yeah, they’re that funny.
With that said, let the questions begin!
If you had to sum up your blog in two sentences, what would you say?
Snarkfest is a combination of autobiography and tirade served with a side of smart ass. It is chockfull of sarcasm, true life, love of family and frustration that accompanies that family. And I curse a lot. (crap, that was three sentences…)
What thing did you do today as a parent you wish you could take back and do over?
I would wake 15 (my teenager) up earlier than I did so she could be bright eyed and bushy-tailed for her trumpet lesson. As it is, she got up 15 minutes before her lesson started and she was slug-eyed and lazy-assed. Her trumpet instructor suggested she get up earlier on mornings when she has an early lesson. I suggested SHE come to the house and try to wake 15 up herself.
What thing did you do today that you are happiest about?
I went to the grocery store and bought a pot roast, potatoes and baby carrots for supper and a box of donuts for pure joy. I’m pretty easily amused.
What is your least favorite activity to do with your children?
Wake them up and get their butts on the school bus so I don’t have to drive them to school. To quote Taylor Swift, ‘it’s exhausting’. I’d rather be forced to sit thru mass every morning and go to a synagogue every night than to deal with getting their lazy asses out of bed and attempt to get them to make the bus in the morning.
What is your most favorite activity to do with your children?
I love love love playing games, cooking, shopping and going to concerts with my kids. Don’t tell my oldest but I LOVE to run with her. We have some of our best times together when we’re running a good 5 mile run.
When your child drives you absolutely crazy and you want to scream a curse word, which word do you wish you could say?
Wish I could say? I WISH I could censor myself but I can’t. So when I am being driven crazy, usually by my 15-year-old, I normally shout “Are you f@cking kidding me????
What’s your favorite lie you have ever told your child?
In 2004, my husband was deployed to Kuwait for almost a year. That Christmas I went to Build A Bear Workshop bought 2 of those thingies that you put inside the bear where you can record your voice. Voice recorders? Anyway, I mailed them to my husband, he recorded a message for each girl and mailed them back. I went back to Build A Bear and made 2 teddy bears for the girls. I contacted the fire station and had Santa show up at my door (they did this every Christmas for a donation). I left the two bears in their boxes outside of the garage for Santa to bring in. Santa came into the house with the two bears and said “I was in Kuwait earlier and your daddy asked me to bring these to you both because he said you’ve both been very good girls.” They opened the bears and squeezed them and got to hear their daddy’s voice telling them he loved them. Yes, it was a lie but it’s my favorite one.
At what moment did you realize that you really were grown up?
I’ll let you know when I get there. I’m fighting it kicking and screaming. But I would honestly say that when they let me procreate, that was a good indication that I am a grown up. Once you pee on a stick and it turns blue, grown-up-ness kinda takes you by force. No turning back. Full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes, grab the burp clothes and watch the vomit fly. No way I could’ve handled that if I wasn’t a grown up.
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