Lately I have felt like a continual bad version of the big bad wolf in the three pigs, huffing and puffing and blowing my lousy emotions all over the place. Its at the point I'm annoying even (or is it especially?) myself.
I'm in the midst of rearranging things in my life and trying - as best as I can - to find my renewed center. It is a spiritual practice that falls into nearly any belief system, this conscious act of refinding my feet every day and choosing which way to step or not to step or to step and fall and get up again mumbling or shouting or crying, "It is all good! Yes, it. is. aaaaalllllll. good."
Today I cleared the top of my desk and for the next few days will be taking a drawer a day to get it re-organized and therefore, more useful.
My garage is going through a similar transformation from dumping pile to art studio.
Right now my backyard is also part of the make shift art studio and as I am in the middle of a somewhat large painting project, I need to realize quickly rains may begin on Wednesday and I need to be done working outside by then.
I've decided to feng shui my desk and my mind as I focus on making each action into prayer. This is my plan for March - to focus on my word of the year - boldness - with an emphasis on making each action I take a prayer.
It might feel easier to just grumble and grouse and complain, but I know better.
I know better, I remind myself.
I. Know. Better.
Initially it may seem like more work to making each action into prayer, but in reality, it is so much easier and if you are looking for productivity and measurement, your output will be higher as well.
Here's what I mean:
This morning I was more grumbly and angry than I have been iin a long time. I had reason to feel frustrated and angry, but I didn't need to take that anger and turn it into pollution for the people I live with, especially my children.
Emma had a rough morning, too. She didn't care about the extra time I took to stuff the celery sticks I added to her lunch. That is just a part of me being Mommy. Those are the things she knows I love to do anyway - surprising her with treats she finds delicious.
I left you here, on the page, for a moment and tried to find a pithy quote about feng shui of space and of life but I didn't find anything that really said what I was hoping to say.
I did find a two word phrase I thought we might enjoy together: soul equanimity. "This is soul equanimity, the state of pure alignment with will of Source and will of self.” LeShawn Middlebrooks Collier wrote that statement.
So soul equanimity in my world means my actions line up with a prayer-centered life.
A prayer-centered life is a conscious, divine experience of balance for me and for those I encounter whether sentient or not.
My desk looks great, my garage is so much better. I am quietly, contentedly finding a home for everything and am able to find things (including long lost treasures.)
See what I mean about feeling better when I am boldly creating a life of making every action a prayer? Suddenly organization is divine - even for this artistic, playing around constantly soul.
You know what's even cooler?
While I was writing this a dear friend called from a former job. We are talking a former job from the last millenium. Fifteen years ago.
I called her on a whim a while back and invited her to go see a play. I had actually forgotten about it about it - this is one of the joys of being passionately detached. She called today to apologize for not calling me back and invited me to something else, tonight.
Just this morning I was whining about wanting to start an application process for new friends. I felt lonely and angry that I was lonely. I got crabbier and crabbier and clunkier and clunkier.
Somehow amidst my continuing to move forward with my projects and my reorganization, I made the space to receive this phone call.
It may sound crazy, but this stuff works.
Soul equanimity through making each action a prayer even when you are too cranky to even consider such a thing. Its better than ativan, than zanax, than chocolate cake.
I'm making this my spiritual practice for the coming weeks. I am aligning myself to make each action a prayer. Since I started writing this and now it has been three days. I've continually checked in with myself, saying aloud and silently, "Each action a prayer," and "How is this action a prayer?"
I'm far from perfect - as usual - and its getting better and better.
What would happen if you consciously lived each action as if it were a prayer?
How would things change in your life, tangibly or in attitude?
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Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy andmixed-media artist. Her word-love themed art will be for sale at a First Friday soon, when it is warmer than it was in December!, in Downtown Bakersfield. Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.
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