(You can land up in jail if you have any plans to kill me after reading this)
I would like to share one of the clips from 'Amita ka Amit' when the duo is getting married.
Had I been a feminist (as labelled by a few of my friends) I would have loved the name of the serial. Amita ka Amit. A male belonging to female. Kudos! Women empowerment no? Well not.
This episode took my mind to yet another track where instead of empathise with Amita (given that we are both of almost equal size) and getting emotional as the wedding ceremony proceeds, I was anguished. This was followed by a discussion with my mother, who like every other Indian, believes that the chance of doing a Kanyadan leads you to salvation from thousand sins.
Popularly known as 'paraya-dhan', a girl belongs to her father till she is unmarried and then is the sole property of the groom after she is married. To make this entire cycle more credible, the father actually 'donates' her daughter to this new man in her life, in the presence of relatives and friends.
1. This is a very obvious question. Why only Kanyadan and no ceremony like Putradan? 2. How can you 'donate'/ 'gift' your very own daughter and why?! 3. Isn't a woman lot more than 'dhan' who belong to one person(father) or the other(husband) all her life? Doesn't she owe her own-self? 4. The groom, according to literal translation of the shlokas chanted, promises his father-in-law that he would make sure his bride attains 'Dharma' (Religion), 'Karma'(Deed) and 'Arth'(Money), which are the basic aim of one's life. Why do we pressurize the groom to be someone so generous to carry this heavy baggage in the form of a woman all his life? Why do we doubt the wife's ability to mind her own business properly enough and not be a burden on a poor chap? 5. Why does only a male donate the girl? Why is the mother, who is herself a charity gift, involved? Isn't it the responsibility of girl's father, the ex-groom to assure that his wife to salvate of sins? (Just as he promised to his father-in-law!) 6. Though non-existent, why do we expect wife to cut-off her contact with her family after coming into a new family? Why is only she who has to undergo all the transition? 7. The word-to-word translation of shlokas enchanted on father's behalf communicate 'Hereby I am donating/gifting my virgin daughter to you'. Why is girl's virginity such a big fuss? And why is the father so responsible for her virginity? And wait, what about the groom's virginity? 8. When shall we finally stop treating a woman like a commodity who belongs to one man, her father before her marriage and is honorably handed over to another man, her husband after her marriage?
