Welcome newcomers and returners to Medical Mondays! I am Elle, writer of Lab Coats and Liabilities. This blog has documented our journey through medical school application, long distance, and moving for love. You have come at a time when M (my second year med student boyfriend) and I (tax accountant extraordinare) are navigating the waters of living together and not murdering one another. So far we have had some success.
M at work
Elle at work
Usually you'll see frantic posts from me worrying about the future and trying to push past my current state of misery at a shitty job. The fears about our relationship originate 99.9% from my anxious Type A self. M is the soother, the superhero, the reliable never second guessing Type B. He is the rock while I'm the world-ending apocalypse around him.
So I was pretty damn surprised when I got home on Tuesday and he was already drinking.
The fears and doubts that had lain dormant in him spilled out with fury.-What if I hate working with patients?-What if I could be happier being an engineer?-What if I can't make it through residency?-What if I shouldn't take out another $120,000 in loans?
And the largest one of all:What if it's not worth it in the end?
MS2 has been difficult for him. The book work is wearing him down. The pressures of Step One are really starting to hit him. This is the first time in his medical journey that he isn't sure if it's right for him.
Despite my bitching and moaning, I know this is right for him. He's is goal oriented and determined. He's brilliant and capable of enduring the stress his girlfriend puts on him. He has attributes that I think would be great in a doctor.
I reassured him of this. He thinks he's missing out on life. I reminded him that engineering isn't exactly 40 hours a week. And he'll be the first to marry and have kids before his friends (hint hint). Sure, the loans will set him back a little but one day he'll pay them off and we'll buy the beach house with a front porch rocking bench.
He's allowed to have moments of doubt, it's just scary with the $120K and counting price tag that comes with them. But despite the long hours, the gray hairs, the missed functions with family and friends, I have to believe this will be worth it in the end.
Or else I'll go mad.
Welcome and please share your doubtful moments and any advice you have for M!
