Diaries Magazine

Minus the Mild Heart Attack…

Posted on the 05 May 2014 by #hartchronicles @jewelsjaye

Minus the Mild Heart Attack…

It was The BEST surprise ever!

So… I haven’t been in the same room with my husband in a little over a month! (Yes, it sucks)

But, I’ve gotta give it to him (being the Angel McToddlerFace that he is) he definitely does extra special things to speak to my top Love Language, which is Receiving Gifts followed by Physical Touch (but I’m a woman so gifts= physical touch! DUH!) Thanks to my Toddler Face, I’d say my love tank usually averages 70% or higher  (with minor dips)even though we’re 12 hours away!

His tank, however, was getting a bit deficient as his top love language is Quality Time followed by Physical Touch, but usually it seems that Physical Touch takes precedence (such is the case with all men, right?!). He literally may be running on fumes. I send care packages filled with amazing clothes and all his favorite things. I FaceTime and Skype. I make him blush and say funny things. I tell him how cute and great he his, and that he has the cutest red thighs this side of the Mississippi River (yes, you read that correctly, although he never responds to that one)! All the while, his thoughts are clearly… tell me nothing, buy me nothing, do nothing for me, just COME HERE!

*Side bar: Attention all husbands, wives, and significant others… If you know and cater to the love language of your mate, you’ll always WIN! I Promise! (Well… Unless they don’t love you or care about speaking your language, and that’s a whole notha’ ball of wax!)

I digress!

So, back to the heart attack…

So I received this text Friday, while driving to work!


All day, I was expecting flowers, or candy, or an Edible Arrangement… Got Nothing!

My mind immediately switched gears and I thought, “There will certainly be a package on the doorstep or in the mailbox when I get home! Awesome!”… Got home, checked both, Nothing!

My mind immediately switched gears AGAIN! (Far be it from me to not have it all figured out, right?!) I deduced that whatever the hubs sent must be late due to the recent bad weather in Arkansas! (It was the perfect resolve to put my mind at ease!) I concluded that I’d get the “gift” tomorrow! Done thinking about it for the day!

At this point, I’m back to my regularly scheduled program!

I go inside, put my purse down, talk in “baby talk” to CoCo, take him out to pee/poop coupled with a mini-walk! (perfect!)

CoCo and I return, I go to the kitchen and put food and water in his bowl, and I’m walking to my bedroom to tinkle and, in my peripheral, I see a large black figure on the couch in the corner of my living room and fear falls over me! I know it’s there and I have to see what it is, but I’m also afraid to really look at it, so I stop dead in my tracks and stand behind a chair (like that’s going to help at all).

Pop Quiz!

At this point, do I:

A. Scream bloody murder and pee on myself?
B. Dive behind the chair and elbow crawl to safety?
C. Faint and fall over the chair?
D. Gasp loudly and clutch the chair, while gawking with my mouth wide open (no words)?
E. Grab something to fight with?
F. All of the above

You guessed it- D!

Fast-forward: It was my husband, dressed in all black, and sitting on the couch with his laptop. (Silently watching)

He: Hi. (smiling)

Me: (after slowing my heart rate and my adrenaline levels dropped) How? What? When? (while holding my heart)

He: I wondered when you’d notice I was here.

Me: Why are you in all black? I’m so happy you’re here! (tears) I need an oxygen mask!

Honestly… When I tell you, I could have passed out right then and there, I truly mean it!

The scary thing is… I was in the house with him (off and on) for approximately 5-7 minutes and didn’t even know it! If he was a murderer, I would have been dead and my deep gasp would have alerted NO ONE!

All in all, I learned 4 important things from this experience:

1. I don’t pay nearly enough attention to my surroundings. (efforts must be doubled)

2. CoCo will not protect me from family members or warn me that they’re in our home. (he will play with them and say nothing when I arrive)

3. I must start screaming when I feel fear. (gasping deeply is definitely not enough)

4. My hubby is the greatest and will literally go the extra mile to be with me! (like drive 12 hours and remember to park his car around the corner so I won’t see it) However, it seems that he could’ve basically parked the car in the living room beside him and I may not have noticed until I ran into it! Geesh!

Minus the Mild Heart Attack…

The hubs and I at a KentuckyDerby party Saturday!

What a truly terrifying surprise, but I’m so glad he came home! All is well with the world!



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