Moving Home

Hey guys,
So today is the day that I move out of my relatively safe and comfortable home, back to my parents. I think that many people seem to dread the thought of moving back to their parents house, after finding the thrill of being an adult so liberating.
There are many things I wish that I could have done to solve this, but I'm a firm believer of fate.  I'm trying to look at it in a positive light and find all the good. I'll be able to re-connect with old friends, I'll be able to save better, I'll be able to test my relationship with Adam. I'm trying to ignore the negatives which seem so close to me and I have to just push them further away. It's a daunting experience.
Yet, I'm so unsure of my place in anything, I have long term goals and aspirations- sure. But when it comes down to the immediate future, the immediate I'm going to do something today. It scares me greatly. I know that the greatest writers didn't immediately reach overnight success, that these things take graft. I just long for immediate gratification in my special field.
I think the thing I've struggled with most is the lack of doors opened to graduates, in the area I'm moving out from. Publishers seem lacklustre to a fresh intake, saying that work experience is not what they do. Library's have open days and forms to just work in their department. And my local Waterstone's is so defensive of not having highly educated graduates, it's worrying. I long to open my own bookshop and feel a sense of community, a welcome heart, a place where anyone is welcome.
Why do I want this? There's such a lack of understanding in the real world of graduates, at least that's how I feel. In a more specialist field I think this would be even harder, luckily my best friend Jade who did Human Resources was blessed to be given a job after her placement. Her department was outstanding in many regards of giving her this placement to begin with.
The English department on the other hand was a catastrophe, I will go into further detail in another blog. I just felt like my three years experience of gaining a degree was a constant battle, I felt like I was offered no support for there after. When speaking to a careers advisor, I specified that teaching was not for me. It's not that I don't like children, or equipping them with life long skills, it's that I am firstly dyslexic, and secondly I just don't want to pursue that, not to mention that I also got a D in Maths- an instant drawback. So after an hour discussion, she asked "so what about teaching?" There was no talk of helping to find a placement or to talk to someone in that field. It was just teaching. The main push at my University is to be a teacher. Had I known this upon going to this University I would have perhaps gone through the clearing process.
I can't say though that everything about University has been terrible, I've grown stronger as a person, learnt who my friends are and who are enemies and generally left with my three musketeers. I've been blessed to meet three people I feel an infinite love for, and know that we will always be together. Whilst we didn't meet at University I feel once again fate pulled me here for a reason. Perhaps it was so I could understand myself? I'm yet to find a reason.
In closing, moving back home is something I feel negligent towards. I have a certain coldness to it, after having such high hopes of meeting a group of friends and settling into a dream job. For now though, I'm still finding my feet.
I've decided not to edit this post as I feel it's just something I want to put out there, when choosing your places at University please think of the after goal too.
Love,
Gracie xxx