"Muggy"

This part of my life is called "muggy"; this words generally used to describe weather. You could call it clamy or humid, I guess. I wanted to call this part of my life muggy because I as a person feel trapped by two sides of my life. 
The university side that wants successes, a career and all the things that come with that. 
The more emotional side that wants her family and fragile relationships that are tender. 
I'm stuck between two and these sides wrestle with each other. I'm two opposing sides and we grapple with each other like school children. I know what I want and at the same time I don't. I want to be happy and I want success. One has to win but I can't judge which.
Our worlds are like dice we never know the outcome. I just took an opposite route to town and met a man who smiled  at me. Would this have happened had I gone the other way. Probably not. Our lives constantly collide with other people's and we never know the consequences. 
We have great plans and futures ahead of us. 
Just wait. 
Id also like to say sorry for having no videos up. I've literally been trying so hard to upload them but I've been so busy. Love, 
TSITR X