I don’t know if it was my zombie drugs or my exhaustion or my sadness at having to take these medications or my frustration at being a HORRIFIC sleeper, but I ate a lot this weekend.
I’ve never had an issue with actual binge-eating, meaning, I’ve never eaten massive quantities of food in a sitting or hidden my meals or felt so out of control that I couldn’t stop. But my version of binge-eating seems to be this grazing which occurs throughout the day, without counting calories or taking note of quantity. I am not sure how much I ate this weekend, but I know it was more than usual and it didn’t make me feel good. But it shouldn’t have been so much to make me gain 3 pounds… especially only in the course of a couple days. I took plenty of laxatives this weekend to try to mitigate the problem.
I’m not too worried about it, though, probably because I’m groggy and emotionless but also because I know I’m about to get my period. AND, my size 6 pants that I’m wearing today (which were skin-tight on me 2 months ago) are now baggy and ill-fitting. There is a noticeable difference in my body and that is letting me move past whatever the f happened this weekend and focus on this week as getting me back down to my 22 pound lost status, plus some.
The weekends do tend to be a free-for-all for me… and I think I’m narrowing down all the reasons why. For one, my weekends have been fairly unstructured and low key since B is studying 24/7. I’m alone, I miss B, and I don’t make a ton of plans (especially recently, with the persistent exhaustion) outside of running errands, cleaning, and doing food prep for the week. I’m on call on Sundays for my volunteer work and that means I have to be around and available to take calls.
I need to create the same kind of structure for my weekends that lets me restrict with ease during the Monday-Friday work week. Ideas?
