Diaries Magazine

Not All Women

Posted on the 14 September 2019 by Sani09 @sani09
I remember I once told a woman
How I felt
 And how terrible things happened
And how I couldn't sleep at night
For there were fears
Of predators lurking around my home
Looking for the next prey they would eat up whole
I remember
I bared out my heart and soul
I remember I couldn't breathe as I stopped my heart to beat
To tell her how I really, really feel
How I wake up and I just want to go back to sleep
How broken memories of a broken me
Shattered my past, my present, my dreams...
I told her how I needed a new home..
And she said, 'hold a second, I got a call'
And she walked away for a while
And came back as if nothing happened
As if she didn't hear anything I just said
As if she wanted not to be where I am
Yet she didn't want me to be the one pulling me up, making me whole
She wouldn't want to be my friend
She wouldn't want anything more to know
And later would pass around my past
To other ears, of other people who didn't know me well
For I was someone who was wronged;
And maybe, to her, I didn't seem much of a help.
She would come back to me in a month
And would remind me of my wounds
And what people would talk behind my back
So my wounds that were healing would get scratched again
 and I would go back down to the pit from which I was almost climbing up
It happened every month
Till I realized what was wrong
That I chose a confidante because of her gender
It was then I realized
Not all women are my friends
To not select friends just by their gender
Let me go to someone who would be my strength
Let me go to someone who would be more of a help
In my times of despair
And I found plenty of men and women
Who would give me a hand
When I would climb up from the pit again
But why do I still remember
How hurt I was
When I told a woman
How I really, really felt

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