- When your 4-year-old asks you why you are wearing your “pajamas” to the grocery store just when you are thinking you are looking cute in those sweatpants, it’s time to change your clothes.
- Just when you think that your 22 month old understands the word “no”, he figures out how to unlock the front door and run naked in the front yard. It will be a glimpse into their college life that scares you.
- Try not to act mortified when your daughter tells a mom at preschool that we don’t recycle at our house because there are too many bottles to take to the recycling center. Definitely not wine or gin bottles, definitely not. Milk bottles, yeah, milk bottles.
- Don’t think your 22 month old is actually old enough to drink out of a cup without a lid. Just because he did it once doesn’t mean he can handle it. You will end up with a carpet turned white by milk that smells like a bad cow farm and a boy who looks like he lactated all over himself.
- Don’t ever, ever, ever give them your cell phone after you took a few pictures of yourself half-naked to see how you looked after working out. #1, you don’t look as good as you think and will be sorely disappointed, and #2, you will possibly scar them permanently. No child needs to see their mom in a sports bra. No child.
Hope those help save you some pain. I’m starting the therapy fund now for their future. Feel free to donate…
