Diaries Magazine

People. Choices. Decisions.

Posted on the 29 August 2012 by Penfriendly
It's no secret that the choices we make lead us to how and where we eventually end up.
School(it was made for us), subjects, graduation course, post graduation course etc. and then for many, marriage.
Well, it takes two to tango and with whom you tango, while very important, can be interesting as to how you are led to them, popularly known as www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange.
As with everything in life, it's about choice. It should be.Marriage cannot be forced upon anyone in any form unless may be it means something that sucks the life out of you for the rest of your life. The interest of the "eligible" individual should be of utmost priority.
Proponents of arranged marriage according to what I have heard, mainly believe in the experience and wisdom of elders. True as much as it is, the assumption here should be that the potential bride/groom has made the choice of going for an arranged marriage.
Choosing love does not necessarily mean, but may be thought to mean "a not so Indian 'sanskritized' girl" or that "children have become oblivious to their families" and more may be, which I am not aware of thankfully. It's not obliviousness but awareness of what kind of partner one needs, the courage and desire to pursue it and it is not the deSanskritization of any girl but rise of a new female generation which, perhaps for the first time, knows what it wants (it'll only get profound in the coming generations). It is called being an adult - taking charge of your life, knowing that actions have consequences and being ready to deal with whatever happens.
When I say love, it doesn't mean the Shakespearean Romeo-Juliet love. I had read somewhere that in that era, it wasn't true love if it wasn't at first sight.. If this is even somewhat true, then I fail to understand how the principles of  "not just knowing each other's likes and dislikes but also understanding other's nature and knowing that this's what you really want" didn't apply then. This's (the part in " ") pretty much what happens more or less AFTER an arranged marriage and BEFORE and righly so, a love marriage.
Being with someone is also self-exploration. Getting to know someone is in some ways also getting to know sides to you which you weren't aware of and desirably, it should bring out the best in you while keeping the worst at bay.
Marriage is not about finding a match for someone but finding the right match and yes, love marriage does provide much more room for that. It's heartening to see families nowadays which support their children's decision of choosing their partner on their own. I hope we'll see more of it in future.
I can't quote statistics depicting success rates of both because I don't have them. It'd be rather lame to go by such statistics in a matter like marriage to make a decision. Problems don't care about love or arranged. Whichever path was embarked upon, all that holds relevance from its inception is the two people and their attitude towards it. It can't be taken for granted requiring same, religious efforts from both sides.
I personally think it's necessary to go through your exam syllabus thoroughly. If the paper is out of course, it's not your fault. You did the best you could. It does make you more vigilant for the next time and if it was the other way, SCORE!

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