Rehearsal kicked my ass tonight…or rather, I kicked my own ass AT rehearsal tonight. Every moment not consumed in my first fitting or on stage was spent pacing at furious speeds outside, while running my lines, hoping it would somehow help them stick with the sheer force of energy.
…This went on for 3 hours.
…And for all of that, I kept screwing them up when I really actually needed them, anyway.
I don’t know what the fucking mental block on this is, but I’ve easily dedicated twice the amount of time to these lines than my last two shows put together, and the cocking things just won’t fucking stick.
…All my usual bag of tricks have been applied. The retention is massively slow, and occasionally word-spotty. I might get three of the four direct adjectives in a row, but always forget that one middle one…the one that begins with an “R”…and ALWAYS screws up the flow of my recitation by going AWOL whenever possibly able.
I really just can’t do any more tonight.
…Off book for Act 1 and half of Act 2, which would be great at one-week in…if that didn’t take me about 18 hours to accomplish, and still in a lot of cases, only “tentatively.”
…Things at work weren’t really the greatest, either, actually.
It all adds up.
I’m tired.
I’m gonna go to bed now and think of “not-lines” and forget about Corporate Reports on PURPOSE.
…Possibly contemplate how I’m going to clean my entire house in like 15 minutes tomorrow, after work, before some road tripping California Cousins arrive.
…And also: pay bills.
Gawd. I could really go for a glass of wine right about now…
And a thing of chocolate, with a side of grease.
And potatoes.
Instead, I’ll gargle mouthwash and go to bed.
Not a cool trade-off, friends.
~D
