My writing voice is wise, no matter when she speaks... as long as I am willing to listen.
"When gratitude and your heartfelt intention meet, the door to heaven swings open in greeting."
Julie Jordan Scott
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I was seriously invested in having a grouchy morning.
No one could stop the forward momentum of my peevish nature.
Not a soul other than myself, that is.
My own writing voice, in memory, plucked a line from nine years ago for me to chew on today. The line was birthed before autism, before John’s death, before penetrating absence and aloneness. These words were written by me before I experienced the grips of the infinite eight years of cancer, for me and my loved ones how many times? How many times? Before I had time to integrate the tumbling salt shaker of everyday life, separate from what I now know I am called to do and who I am called to be.
I let go of the tight grip on the grouch as I released the tension in my shoulders, down my spine, out of my hands.
I wrote these words nine years ago about gratitude and intention in a space of greatest good for others, never thinking one of those others would be my future self.
I settled into my seat and let that nearly decade ago version of me speak to and minister to the now me.
Heartfelt intention: grateful boldness, growth, awareness and creativity not in the abstract formlessness instead in the tangible, in the hand holding, in the “here it is, my homage assemblage.”
Even in the rewriting of the experience, a smile sits on my face. It isn’t a smug “I told you so” smile. It is a smile of thanksgiving. To quote a hymn I pray is being sung somewhere today, “Morning by morning new mercies I see.”
Phyllis Bottome wrote, “Feelings change facts.” Just as I was stubbornly committed to feeling grouchy, a deeper part of me nudged me to feel gratitude and honor deep awareness which waited to be heard.
What are you doing today to honor your deep awareness, that wisdom waiting for you to hear it?
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Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, performance poet, Mommy and mixed-media artist. Coming soon - more creativity camps, playgrounds and workshops to grow yourself artistically (and hey, just for fun!)
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