Diaries Magazine

Rose Coloured Glasses

Posted on the 07 June 2012 by Nickmcdonald @W_W_O_Nick_McD
In the words of Jenna Marbles, in my eyes one of the greatest visionaries of our time. "I see the world with a pair of fucking rose coloured glasses all the time" I fucking love that! I hate when people don't see the silver lining in everything. People who know me may be thinking 'what the fuck?! You're so negative all the time!' and yeah, on the out side I am, I vocalize the things that suck. That doesn't mean I don't find pleasure in anything!! I fucking love shit, I love everything good or bad, experiences are the fucking bees knees. I talk about the things I don't like because who the shit wants to read a couple thousand words about what makes me happy? That's just retarded. I love my friends, I love my computer, I love my car, I love my bikes, I love music, I love cookies, I love my blog, I love that I'm going to have to change the name of this post before I publish it because I'm not even writing about my original idea, I just fucking love everything in general, even the fact that my fucking car only starts like a quarter of the time without my getting out and fucking around with the battery because I'm too damn lazy to fix it.
There is nothing wrong with saying your life sucks, believing it, that is the problem. Your life doesn't suck, your attitude does. I've been through some shit, not as bad as some people but still;  My mom committed suicide when I was ten, and my dad is a long haul trucker so he wasn't around as much as he should have, then he married a complete bitch. The family was pretty cool I had four great step siblings and we lived in a big beautiful log house together, but as I said, complete bitch. The divorce was necessary, it was a stressful environment, especially for my younger sister. My Grampa died a few months before the divorce, that was pretty hard on me. I'm not sure why, we weren't very close, it just stuck with me though. We moved back into my Grandmas house after my dad finally left her, I'm even in that house right now as I'm typing, we moved around a lot but this house has always been here for me when I need it. My Dad built this house, lived here, then sold it to my grand parents, it's been in our family for ever, no one has ever lived here. They are selling it, that's why they are doing renovations. I don't want them to sell it, I can't say anything though, I'm just one of the grandsons, I can't ask them to keep it just so I can stay here. After the divorce there was a huge strain on our family, my sister moved in with my aunt who lives like 30 minutes away in a bigger near by town, me and my brother were living together for a while with my dad stopping in between trips to buy us food and make sure we were still alive, then my brother finished high school and left to start his life. I was all alone for the last two years of high school, I really just didn't want to stay here, I started online school and moved to my aunts at the coast with my brother who was staying there while going to university. I pretty much just moved around on my own from then till now, making my own decisions, I probably fucked up quite a bit, I should have stayed in normal school and tried to have a somewhat normal teenage life, but mehh.
Sooo...... Back to the point before I got off it to tell you my life story. You can make your own choices in life, maybe I'm just fucked up in thinking this because of my unusual up bringing, but I don't understand normal people, I've always felt like I was different, I didn't have that stable family environment, no parents telling me to do my homework, no family dinners, just me, apart from the world, I was raised by a mix of television, observing normal people, thin shreds of vague parenting, and my own messed up thoughts. People say they're like stuck, like they are somehow committed to their current living situation. The last time I stayed in the same house for over a year was when my dad was married, which was...... five years ago? I'm not quite sure, something like that. I can just pick up and move where ever, I like that freedom but it is a lonely way to live, I hate not being tied down, I envy that when I look at other people.
But AGAIN!!! Back to the point I'm trying to make, no more of that getting side tracked shit.
Don't feel like you're not in control of your own life, don't feel like things never go right, just go with the flow!! You can't plan everything, I don't see why anyone would want to, it's fun as shit to be random sometimes. Put on you rose coloured glasses and keep your head up, the past is the past, and the future is the future, the only thing you should be worried about is the one that you can experience, the present.
Nick McDonald

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