Today is September 10th National Suicide Awareness Day. Let's all stand up and share and recognize this tragic event that just could be prevented if we can all notice the signs.
If you are a caring person, please share and let anyone in your community or worldwide that you care about them enough to save their lives. I would like to be the person writing this in hopes that somehow it reaches someone who could be thinking of ending their lives and when they read this it could make them change their mind.
It's never an easy thing either to lose a loved one. I've got a relative who lost her son last year to it right around this time. He was a Marine and suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It's an unbearable thing to have to bury your son or daughter or anyone in your family who has decided that they wanted an out.
For those of you that are thinking, please don't do it! Is it really that bad that you need to end your life? You are never worthless and you have a lot to live for. Think about all the people who will be angry with you after your death. They will be too, because they will be angry that you decided to leave them all behind.
A long, long time ago I had a weak moment for one weekend where I at least thought of it, but what stopped me was my kids. I thought of what it would be like for the oldest to arrive home and find Mom dead in the bathroom after taking pills. Ultimately, I could never do it. I really knew deep down that I could never kill myself in any way, shape or form. And my sole reason (a real stupid one) was because I had finished my first romance novel, LustfulEvangeleanand had an editor read it. It needed a lot of work, but there were also really good things about it. Well, on this fateful evening while I was in the car waiting in the rain for my oldest to get out of his school dance party, I thought "What if I never get my book published?" It was really silly, but it had always been my goal to publish and get famous for my artwork and writings. I did get self published last year.
This event was at least five or seven years ago. It was the year all my kids were in school full time and I think it had something to do with a mid life crisis too. You know, when you think, now what? What am I going to do with the rest of my life?
Well, immediately after thinking of it, I got angry with myself told my ex (husband at the time) and my sister and my immediate family. Never told my kids. And I got someone to talk to about it. My sister basically said, "If you ever call me and tell me what you plan to do again, I'm going to have the cops right on your doorstep." My Dad said, "You've got to play this game of life as long as you can."
You know what? I never looked back to that traumatic few weeks. Okay, the weekend where I kind of thought about it. And then the few weeks it took just to get past my anger for having the thoughts. Nothing has ever again surfaced and I just decided at the time to change my life around and enjoy every beautiful day as it comes. Life is short, but why end it early if you don't have to?
I didn't want anyone to have to be dressing up for my funeral and I plan to be dancing withmy kids at their weddings. I've got four kids, a new boyfriend (over a year since we met), very good friends withmy ex and his family, a great family clan, one self published book and many more to come withebookswithKindle Publishing.
Hopefully, The Glorious Money Tree (first in a children's fantasy/adult novel trilogy) will be done by next year and will be published.
It's an awesome story about a little girl, SallyDriscollwho hatches an idea to gather coins from all of her friends and together they plant them to grow a money tree. All of the characters in the book, including the adults have stories to contribute to the fairies, elves, goblins, angels, mermaids, mother nature, etc... as they all have met them. There's good and bad magical creatures. And there is also tragedy that will strike someone and Sally is going to wish that the money tree would grow the money. Throughout the novels, there will be lots of obstacles, challenges and changes, some romance, good family values and thoughts on raising children, and ultimately all the characters will have to decide whether or not they want to hold onto the magic.
Now, think about this. If I had indeed decided to end my life (so thankful each and every day I didn't), do you think this novel, and all the other novels, artwork, knitting, sewing, all my endeavors would have even come intoexistence? They wouldn't because I would have ended things and I wouldn't even be here to tell you all of my stories about my life, here, on myblog, The Authentic Life http://jennyjofaypaperdolls.blogspot.com/ , in my published novel, or anywhere else where I now have chosen to share all my thoughts and opinions withyou all.
I am perhaps somewhat like an open book (although I still have things I would take to my grave), because I think it is important to share and get it out there. I figure that if I share what I have been through, even the mistakes I have made, if I can help someone else climb out of the struggles with their day, then I am happy.
I care what people think, but I live for the moment, not in the past. Every thing is a memory and I keep the good and discard the bad.
Personally, I love waking up early each day and having lots of time to spend with my children, family, friends, my boyfriend, and anyone else that enters my life. I'm a 5:30 - 6am riser and I end my evenings with a cool movie and time out around 11pm. Last night, I watched The Birds. Awesome movie.
I love having each new day to fulfill all my dreams. I've got three novels in progress. The Glorious Money Tree trilogy, The Thief Who Wouldn't Learn, and Red Ribbons the sequel to my first published novel. I've got more novels in my head, three or four other novels that were done years ago and need editing, artwork I would like to do more of, GothicPaper dollline to someday create, more headbands and bracelets to knit, a yo yo blanket to finish someday and many other creative adventures.
I want to live well over 100 so that I can accomplish all these things and more and leave a legacy for my children, two boys and two girls. I've always been a family girl that grew out of a close knit family. I knew all my second cousins growing up and my Nana's house was always occupied by lots of loved ones.
Who wants to kill themselves and leave everything behind is beyond me. Even if you think you have it bad, think again as there is always someone worse off than you. There has to be something good in your life worth living for.
Did you break up with someone? Get off the ground and pick yourself off the ground and realize that you aren't the only one and there are millions of other people out there. And do you need a man or woman to be happy? Many people are by themselves and they still have a very fulfilled life.
Find it within yourself to be strong, to survive the days that make it seem like you can't go on. You know better than that, and there is a mountain inside you that is telling you to climb it, look out to the vast beyond, and to see the bright sun that is your savior.
You are the most remarkable human being, because you are on this earth for a purpose. To live, be loved, learn to grow and understand who you are and who you mean to the world. Believe me when I say this, the world is a much better place with YOU IN IT! Nobody wants to have to bury you before your time. Do you realize when they have to do this, you are leaving the VOID that won't go away for one split second of their every waking day?
THINK ABOUT THAT AND THINK ABOUT IT A SECOND TIME. IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? NO YOU DON'T. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
Jennifer Jo Fay Copyrighted September 10, 2012
Note: I don't always believe in re posting my writings. I do re post my novel chapters at Triond to share with my writer friends there and I'm trying out Expertscolumns for some of the articles I write at Triond.
But this one, I think needs to be shared as much as possible as it is a very tragic issue and it's too bad to lose millions of good people because they thought they couldn't find a way out and wanted to go to God.
It's up to all of us to stop them from doing so. Sometimes it is hard to know when to spot the signs. Also, if it has happened and it's water under the bridge, you have to not feel guilty with yourself for not stopping it from happening. You didn't see it coming.
