Diaries Magazine

That's a Mars and a Half!

Posted on the 31 January 2012 by Thefatalfemme @The_Fatal_Femme
Well well well.
I have heard the most absurdest of things.
I actually laughed to myself.
In front of everyone in the street. How could I not? It really was ridiculous!
Now. When walking down the high street, one must deal with the fact that there will inevitably be bizarre conversations overheard.
The kind of conversations where you go, "Eh?"
Case and point. Today. Approximately 14.39 (2.39pm for those of you not on military time). Whilst on my lunch hour, I eavesdropped into a 'yummymummy' meeting outside of Waitrose.
Some may say I was lurking. I would say I was casually waiting for nothing to happen.
The first YM ('yummymummy') said, "Well I thought that having given up drinking a glass of wine every night that the pounds would just drop off"
In response, the second YM replied, "You'd think! What have you replaced it with?
YM1: "Cider"
YM2: "Oh..."
YM1: "Well it's more filling you see"
YM2: "Yes..."
YM2: "My mother drinks a lot of cider and she's huge... but I don't think it's down to that"
YM1: "Oh..."
YM2: "She's the kind of person that eats 3 Mars bars in a row"
YM1: "What?!"
YM2: "I know! I can't even eat a whole one"
YM1: "Oh my gosh, a whole one is far too filling, half a Mars bar is enough"
YM2: "Sometimes I can't even manage that"
YM1: "I'd be stuffed"
Well exactly. Who on earth could manage half a Mars bar? Far too much don't you think?
Thank goodness all dinner plates are designed and produced to be smaller than the size of half a Mars bar.
Oh hang on... they're not.
What utter drivel. I can't decide which is more ridiculous, replacing a glass of wine with cider or only eating half a Mars bar. Now that takes the cake. Or the Mars bar. Sorry - half Mars bar.
I am guessing/hoping/godpleasewilling that these women were merely giving the truth scope/lying. Not necessarily about the cider (I mean, cider really is quite nice - if you're over 18...) but about the Mars bar.
I've got to be honest sometimes even one whole Mars bar (heaven forbid) isn't quite enough for me.
No I'm not endorsing or advertising Mars bars. I know I have said it quite a lot, but it's imperative to the plot of the story... like Jesus to the Bible.
Who said eavesdropping was a bad thing? I may have looked slightly odd hovering close to these women and giggling at the majority of things that they said, but think of the entertainment that I got from it... and the appetite!
Watch this space...

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