This is my story.I'm a normal girl. Regular stuff went by. Nothing out of the ordinary I'd say. If I were a pawn in a chess game I'd say the player was (getting) bored. Life passed me by. Complacent. I lived, I breathed.Then suddenly out of nowhere, Life gives the knockout punch when I least expect it. Looking back I sometimes prefer complacent. On one end however, I am awestruck, wonders-truck, whateverstuck. Because maybe just maybe, God still has a big reason for giving me another chance to live.
May 12, 2013.I had to type that boldfaced because other than birth dates of loved ones this one has a special place
in my heart, and in my legs as well (you'll figure it out later). It was the day before the elections and I was still in the North.
Had to be home in time to practice my right to suffrage. I took a 10:00 am Grand Tours shuttle from Allen, Northern Samar and the goal was to be in Tacloban by 4:00 pm. Easy right? But of course I never made it unscratched otherwise there won't be a story here. Alas this is the knockout punch I was talking about! Only it was a damned fatal car wreck and life will never be the same afterwards.
***Can I at least warn you? I will be sharing some photos of my poor body after the accident. You can take it right? Then read on.
How bad was it?I'd be honest. I have no recollection of what happened during the accident. I do remember that at 8:00 am that day I was dancing the Zumba. I remember being dropped at the terminal by Daddy and Tin. I remember buying candies at the terminal and texting a great deal of reminders to Daddy about Tin's vitamins. The next thing I know is that I'm this immobile girl on a hospital bed, crying and helpless, asking for my daughter because I thought I had brought her with me during the travel. It was so bad that I couldn't remember anything. I have no memory of what I did during the entire journey. I don't remember where I was seated inside the shuttle. I didn't know how we had an accident. Was it a collision? Driver falling asleep and loosing control of the steering wheel? Where did we bump into? Did the shuttle roll over? Four months on and I'm still scanning my memory hoping for an answer but nothing comes. I could have died and my poor soul would still be asking.
Some answers.My brain couldn't give me answers but my wounds surely couldn't lie. I guess I was slammed by God knows how many times inside the shuttle because my entire back was badly bruised. I counted and I think there were over 30 stitches on both of my legs. Even my forehead and left arm were scratched and lacerated. Fate,however, spared my bones and there were no fractures. I was still lucky.
My forehead. I probably shouldn't even wonder why I couldn't remember anything. My brain had it bad too.
My left arm. How one earth did I get those?
My back and the bruises. Believe me,they're as painful as they look like.
***And here are my legs. I decided to blur things out a little. I realized they were too gruesome to be posted raw.***
Left leg. I have no photos of my right leg. I had stitches there too but not as bad as these. Yikes!
Before and after the stitches were taken off. Toned down version.Ha ha ha
What happened. According to them.The shuttle rolled over in Buray, outside of Catbalogan City ( 2 hrs away from Tacloban) at around 2 pm. Which means I was unconscious for nearly 6 hrs because it was around 8:00 when I realized the state I was in. I just remember being unable to move without wincing in pain. It was even difficult to chew because my jaw was hurting. Then came the questions that I didn't have answer to because I couldn't remember what happened. They tell me that the clothes that I wore on that trip were all wet as I was drenched when I was rescued. Covered in mud and rice bran. Which makes me wonder if what state of car wreck did I just walk away from. Where was I pulled out, where was I placed? I might have resembled a dead animal for all we know. Back home my family was wondering where I was. I should have been home by 6:00 but there were no SMS replies. Dan texting me endlessly asking where I was, thinking that had ran off with another man (WTF, right?!). Then he receives a call from an unknown number. It was me, calling to tell him what happened. But I was drifting in and out of consciousness and if he didn't mention it later, I wouldn't have even remembered that I actually made that call. If I walked past the kind girl who offered me her phone to call home I wouldn't even recognize her.News spread like wildfire and I don't know if back home they had their share of drama but at around 10:00 pm almost everyone that mattered to me were gathered at my foot, watching as I was being stitched up. And that's how the tears started flowing. It was the state of confusion not knowing how to feel. Aching, thankful. Teary, hopeful. Angry, tired. Sleepy, hungry. Asking.
The AftermathI was in a daze for nearly two days. Asking the same questions over and over again and saying the same things. Whenever I said something I would ask my sister if I already said it earlier. Each time she would tell me yes. I once had a very photographic memory and a canny ability to remember small details. Well, sad to say that I'm no longer that wicked.I didn't see my wounds until the bandages were taken off. And boy did they horrify! The healing process took nearly two months. It took a while before I got rid of that limp. When my stitches were taken off a week after the accident, all of my wounds closed up except for that major one on my left leg. Then I realized that it was gaping because a great deal of skin and meat was scraped off. Some part of me is dead and rotting somewhere.And as for the trauma; well let's just say that I've become paranoid because every time I travel I never never sleep because I'm scared things will happen to me again. Some things are irreversible; or maybe it will take time before I fully heal mentally and emotionally.
They're a part of me now. The scars. People tell me that there are ways to get rid of them. However, I don't think I'm ready to part with them yet. And my feelings may never change. Not when everything seemed so unreal. They're my only ways to tell me how fortunate and blessed I am: to be given the chance to live a second life.Flashes of memories come back every now and then. One is of me lying on the pavement,unable to move my body. I was shivering and rain was falling. I was trying to get up but a man came to me and said that I shouldn't try to force myself to stand up. I'd been in an accident and I will be brought to the hospital soon. Then I cried. Nothing more after that for I have fallen unconscious again.Ordinary Girl Not So OrdinaryI'm 25 years old. If CVs could include personal life experiences I'd say I gave birth at 24 and went toe to toe with Death at 25. But it wasn't my time yet. And we may never have the answers right now but everything happens for a reason. I have my Creator to thank and my loved ones to love even more. God bless the people who picked me up when I might have looked dead.That I even lived to tell my story is a miracle in itself. And I may never laugh at amnesia-themes movies ever again because I know for sure it happens in real life. :) If I say 'Carpe Diem' a lot, it's because I really mean it. We never know if this moment's our last so might as well enjoy it and simmer in it.
This is my story.
