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Have you ever experienced fog in the mirror? You try to look at who you are and find that your reflection is hazed by grey. You look around you and it’s not there. Everything looks fine. You should be able to look at yourself and see who you are, but you lift up your head and find that you can’t. Have you ever experienced fog in the mirror?
I have.
I am.
We Heart It
I laid in bed the other night and perused this feeling. I asked God why no career paths I could come up with seemed to fit me. I held my breath to keep tears at bay, but they spilled over instead and clogged my nose. I came up with words incessantly: librarian, pharmacist, columnist, public relations representative. Nothing felt right. I squeezed my eyes closed. Writer. Not even that felt right.
Then it hit me.
Nothing would feel right. Not as long as I kept trying to define myself by my work, define myself with labels. I’m more than what I say and what I do. I’m also what I feel and what I think. They are the two truest things about me. So, I did what I hadn’t done in a long time. I finally asked for God to lead me to wherever it is He wants me. “Please, just take me,” I said. I’m tired of the confusion.
I’m tired of looking in the mirror and seeing myself surrounded in fog.