In my last session with my therapist I allowed myself to get vaguely pissed off at her. I got pissed because I pay her to listen to me and somehow she heard me wrong.
I decided that made her wrong and dammit, I was mad.
“My thoughts are as fractured now when I am leaving as when I arrived!” I said over my shoulder as I walked angrily out the door.
How dare she not work with me to tie it all up in a pretty bow, all Martha Stewarted into place with just the right shades of purple and pink. The bow would be created from metallic recycled material and somehow glittery stuff made purely of imaginery elements.
As I write this several weeks later I laugh.
Oh, the joy of being misconstrued. I don’t know how she misunderstood me - or rather how she wrote it down in her notes - but I am glad she did. It reminded me how different I actually allow myself to be even when I deny that reality.
I am so glad to not have things tied up in pretty bows.
Pretty Martha Stewarted bows make me want to be all tied up - not in a good way.
These are the bows made of the just right "this and the oh, did you see that?" sort of matchy-matchy fabric. Reminds me of the stuff at Hobby Lobby, obviously put together by some poor child in a sweat shop in a third world country rather than sorted and stitched and glued by someone who is choosing to tie the bow in a funky, unique, decidedly not “how-to-get-started-in-ten-simple-jealously-guarded-killer-steps” sort of way.
I will see my therapist again in ten days now. I plan to present her with a one-of-a-kind roll the dice form of game plan. I will make it memorable, most certainly, so she won’t confuse me with someone who orders from a run-of-the-mill calendar and only shops at safe, cookie cutter, just like everyone else types of spaces.
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Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, creative life coach, speaker, performance poet, Mommy and mixed-media artist whose Writing Camps and Writing Playgrounds permanently transform people's creative lives. Watch for the announcement of new programs coming Spring, 2014 and beyond.
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