It was one of those nights that was just perfect. My husband and 4 year-old daughter decided to camp out in our backyard. After putting our 2 year-old son to bed, I hung out with them for awhile as we made smores and talked about life.
It was all perfect until I decided to be a show off. We were talking about how excited we were for her to start gymnastics when I got all cocky and decided to show her how to do a cart wheel. Keep in mind, I haven’t done a cartwheel since I was 12 years old.
I was wearing my cute little army green skirt that makes me feel skinny. I was so obsessed with showing off that I actually forgot how much your legs spread during the act of a cartwheel. What happened next was out of the movie “Badass” or some horrible home video on YouTube.
In my attempt to do a cartwheel, my skirt splits open against the force of my large thighs opening and I proceed to hit the ground in an embarrassing and completely unattractive fall. My favorite skirt was now ripped to shreds and I had only shown my daughter the fine art of making an ass out of oneself rather than actual physical skill.
As if that wasn’t enough, I then tried to redeem myself and do a cartwheel with my skirt off. Yes, you read that correct. I stood in my backyard in just my shirt and underwear to try to show my kid that I had what it took to do a cartwheel. Let the record show – I do not. I do not at all. I fell again on my ass but this time I successfully got grass stains on my granny panties.
So I put my ripped skirt back on and sat down in misery.
It’s ok though because a few minutes later my hubby asked our daughter, “What’s your favorite thing about Mommy?”
Her reply, “She talks a lot and is pretty.”
I might not be acrobatic, but hey, at least I could potentially be an olympic talker if that was a sport. And even better, I’m pretty in the eyes of a 4 year-old. That puts me basically at the same physical attractiveness of Arial and Cinderella – not too shabby I say.
All in all – a perfect night.
