The Under-Underworld

Someone told me earlier that I can't change how I write me blog, I disagreed at the moment, I don't want to cause more drama, but she is right, this is who I am, I won't stop, no matter what it causes, causing drama is better than not causing anything at all. I can't think about the consequences of my actions on here, the only way through is to not stop, everything has to come out or what is the point of this blogI'm not gunna lie, I've had couple drinkypoos right now and I have been singing along to Jason Mraz's soothing melodic voice for the last couple hours.... But I want to tell you something now unless I forget later. I used to think that there was two levels of society, the "real" world, then there is the one where people fuck and suck and cum and drink and smoke and do drugs and are just a fucking wreck all of the time and just put on a happy face for the world so that everyone doesn't know how fucked up everyone else thinks they are even though the people they are hiding their fucked up shit but NOW I FUCKING THINK THAT IS WRONG!!!!!!There is another fucking level beneath that one believe it or not. Everyone just wants someone to hold them, someone to tell them that everything is going to be alright because they are ashamed of that second level, people have low self esteems, like everyone who isn't a fucking messed up sociopath wants, deep down, some one to love them. I want love, I know that, I want all the fucking love I can get. I don't mean pussy, I don't want a fucking blow job right now, I want a fucking hug, and a kiss from the girl I love. I want to just lay here with her and be together, not inside her, I don't need to put any part of my body inside of her body, I've never experienced that, and I imagine it would be a lot of fun, but right now I just want to lay here with the person I love, holding each other, comforting each other, making each other happy and for once in the last two days not feel like shit, I want to stop listening to this fucking musical gypsy, stop fucking crying, and be back with her, the way it used to be, I miss her, I love her, and contrary to what some of you bitchy, gossiping shits think cough...cough...Amanda..cough, she loves me too, we tell each other everyday and mean it, even since we broke up, we are best friends and that will never change, even if we never get back together; she is amazing, if you don't think she is, you don't know her.I don't want to be drunk, I'm not BTW I've only had like two beer. And I'm going to cut off on a tangent here. Alcohol, and fucking drugs in general are fucking crazy stupid. Beer just tastes like shit, I'm not having fun right now, I'm not drunk but still. I don't have any need for this shit, I'm not going to open the third one, back in the fridge you go little buddy..... see you next time I'm this upset.... BRB                  I'm back, not that you noticed that I was gone :PEverone wants to love, and be loved; That's all I want, thats all she wants, I don't know if we are right together, or if we will ever get back together, but she is my best friend, and I want her to be happy. And I know everone else wants someone too, if you don't have someone, you do want one, think about it right now!! I'll give you a little time to think....................................................................................................... Okay, depending on how fast you read dots that should be enough, but I don't care if it wasn't, that is all I am giving you. You do, don't you? You want someone to hold you, and squeeze you, and whisper in your ear that everything is going to be alright, and you believe that person, because that person would never lie to you, everything WILL be alright in the end, and if it isn't, it isn't the end.Nick McDonald