Just back from lunch with the WHS team.
…I stuffed so many steak fries into my face that I now either need to make a huge burp, or puke. I dunno which it will be, but honestly don’t care as long as something happens soon to ease the gi-normicous amounts of discomfort I am in.
Being a “foodie” is tough work, sometimes.
In Other News: Have been driving the WHS Pimp insane today by insisting on speaking in Scottish brogue, whenever humanly possible. I pop out for the phone, of course, but even when yellin’ about Boss, adjusting the schedule, or asking questions about a work order that needs to be done, I’ve been in full voice. Which, wouldn’t be for the first time. He’s been around now for almost two years. So I forget how wierd it must be for other people to be around that for no explicable reason.
…Until one of his minions comes in to report something to him, and keeps shooting looks at me like I’ve totally lost my shit.
…Which I still am not at all aware of, until I hear something like this, from his office:
WHS Pimp: Oh. Yeah. You’ve never been here for one of her big show preps, have you.
Minion: (With not a little fear.) What? No. What happens.
WHS Pimp: She goes totally ballistic. She’s very into “getting into character.” Like Heath Ledger and “the Joker,” kind of crazy. This one time? She played a serial killer…fucking terrifying to be around every day.
Minion: (With more fear.) Yeah?
WHS Pimp: …You think THIS is bad, you should have seen her when she was a Jew running from the Nazis…God she was just paranoid. All the time.
Minion: …Dude…
WHS Pimp: …Or when she was that singing prostitute…or the the Nun one was fun.
Minion: …What happened with the “Nun”…?
WHS Pimp: –She plays lots of lesbians too. And the last one really didn’t work out well for her, cuz she like shot herself in the head every night, at the end and things.
Minion: …Ohholyfuck…
WHS Pimp: — Which I mean: work HERE 40 hours a week PLUS shoot yourself in the fucking head four nights outta seven…am I right? That’s some intense shit.
Minion: …Geezus…
WHS Pimp: –The first time I saw her doing laps in the lobby while yelling at herself in some British accent, I went to Boss and was like, “Um, what the fuck?” And he said: “You know — theater junk or whatever.” And I was like, “oh, I thought she was seriously schitzo or something.” And he was like: “No, yeah she’s a freak and things. But she really good at paperwork…”
…And then, there was silence.
…Followed by a giant booming laugh coming directly from the other office.
WHS Pimp: Dude, it’s fine. I’m just giving you shit. She runs lines is all. It’s just a thing she’s working on for this weekend.
…To which Minion, eyes still wide, smiles and tries to laugh uncomfortably, as they exit out the door…furthest away from me…toward the Warehouse.
Me: (While still in brogue –naturally–) You’re gonna scare the fucking hell out of them.
WHS Pimp: What. Like “you” in an accent is any worse than “you” in real life?
Me: True.
…And, it is.
~D
