Here is some quick advice for the adults traveling through Disney, where your demographic will be about 5%.
1. If you don't like kids, don't go to Disney. There are swarms here.
2. As much as the commercials may make this place an oasis of magic- magic hasn't cleaned the bathrooms or refilled the toilet paper. Don't get your hopes up for a clean beautiful park. It's basically an oversized McDonalds.
3. Bring hand sanitizer and lots of it. Most kids here are at the stage where they cough openly into the world- again, swarms of disease everywhere.
4. Sleep in and stay at the park during late hours. Disease-ridden children usually need to pass out from a sugar high around 9pm. Enjoy the empty park at those late hours children free!
5. Take the free shuttle to Downtown Disney, go to the Hess gas station across the street and buy the cheap beer!!! Then hide it in your refillable cup by the resort pool. Ahhh Four Loco.
6. Head straight for the bar areas of the parks or resort. It won't eliminate the presence of all children but about 90% of them will be gone! Pleasure Island is particularly quiet of screaming babies.
7. Next romantic vacation, choose Sandals!
:)
Ps: M says I'm being too cynical about the whole experience. The truth is I'm having a blast and relaxing. And it's hilarious when people offer their misbehaving children to us for adoption (which happens repeatedly).
