Self Expression Magazine

Todd Akin Strikes Again, Kind Of.

Posted on the 03 October 2012 by Bridgesfolly @Bridgesfolly

Todd Akin Strikes Again, Kind of.

I’ve found myself lacking inspiration in the past few weeks, feeling an overwhelming sense of apathy in regards to my blog. I am sorry to have let you all down and I feel I should assure you of my thankfulness for your patience and loyalty. On a brighter note, I have found my muse for today; leave it to Todd Akin to reignite my snarky fury.

Todd Akin, also known as Mr. Hoo-ha Expert of the Century,  has once more shown that his wisdom knows no bounds in regards to female anatomy. The most recent little nugget of brilliance was actually from a speech in 2008 which is now being brought to our attention.

“You find that along with the culture of death go all kinds of other law-breaking: not following good sanitary procedure, giving abortions to women who are not actually pregnantcheating on taxes, all these kinds of things. All of these things are common practice, but all of that information is available for America.”

If a woman isn’t actually pregnant… what are they aborting? I picture a woman in a Planned Parenthood being told by the doctor “Well Miss, you’re not pregnant per se, but you’ve got yourself an invisible Devil-Baby in there, so Imma havta’ pull that sucker out. That’ll be 1 million dollars, thank ya’ kindly.”

Seriously. Seriously. Our country is being run by crazy people.

Also, here’s a nice little comment from Maurycompson over at Gawker. Apparently, men can get invisible-baby abortions too! (Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the next thing we hear from Akin)

Not only women. I’m a man and I’ve had three abortions. Usually, it’s just a first date thing. I end up dating a lot of women that just love to have abortions, whether they are pregnant or not. There is a great clinic in my neighborhood where you can go and have a romantic dinner and then have an abortion and watch a movie. It’s really nice. You have to call a month ahead, because people love having abortions on Friday night. Try it guys. It’s a great icebreaker. You don’t know how many numbers I’ve gotten with the line, “Hey, you busy Friday? Wanna get a meal and an abortion?” Great thing is that the state pays for it, and you can use your Food Stamps to pay for dinner.

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