Of course, while I was reading my fourth day of truth topic, my mind immediately went there. It would somehow be the more obvious choice to write about when talking about something I have to forgive someone for. I found, however, that I’m unable to write about that – blocked if you will. I guess that might have something to do with the fact that I don’t feel like I have to forgive them for what they did. So, I’ll write about something that someone did more recently, and that disappointed and hurt me.
Some relationships are complicated, but they’re always complicated because we make them that way. The relationship I have with this person is that way, too. Our talks were great; more often than not we seemed to be on the same wave length. We have shared quite some stuff together, and were – in my eyes – quite open about most of it. A certain kind of closeness had developed.
The mode of the conversations, however, had made the relationship a bit covert. This led me to eventually make the decision to bring an end to these types of conversations and strive to have them more out in the open. Sadly, this hasn’t really been working out. I feel like I have done my best; I’ve tried. I feel like this person didn’t. That was a disappointment.
Some weeks passed, and then, out of the blue I hear someone else congratulating this person. I was surprised to hear on what. It hurt me that I was left in the dark.
I realize though, that my expectations of this person weren’t realistic – that I can feel hurt, but not be mad. I can feel sad, but I can’t accuse this person of secrecy or dishonesty.
So, X, you are forgiven, although you probably won’t even know that there’s a need to be forgiven. And I just want to say, “Congratulations.”
