[untitled Grief]

Theoretically, that is a title-but you know what? Sue me. 
So, in a teenagerish-horrible way, this week is a great week to talk about grief.
Remember that post about Mrs.Biddick? Well another dear friend, very close to my heart passed away.
That cliche saying, "You never know what you have until its gone"
It sucks.
And I feel like a total dupe, because this friend was ill in the hospital, and me and my parents decided that I shouldn't go because of a cold. I mean, he was incoherent, so he wouldn't have known I was there (p.s. he's a lot older than me, 50+) 
But still, that one last chance-you know?
It's....
[untitled grief]
There's no word for it, like, "insert choice swear word there". But instead it's an adjective for one of the most painful things on earth.
Love is the strongest, I believe this-but I think hurt, or in this case is the next strongest.
Now, a huge comfort to me, is that these dear friends of mine are having the most incredible [untitled joy moment] with Jesus in Heaven forever, and obviously a lot of people forget that when they're like, "The had a beautiful life, but we'll miss them so much," or, "We know they're in a beautiful place now." 
Of course they're in a beautiful place! [p.s. I'm not saying everybody goes to a beautiful place, because cynically, there are two places and one of them is quite un-beautiful if you catch my meaning, but these two people made it a fact of their lives to make sure people knew that they were going to the beautiful place, so i have confidence-like Maria von Trapp!)
These people were and are going places.
But there is still a pain, as I say goodbye to dear friends i have come to know and love-of course, I no longer saw these people everyday, but to be honest guys-to even try and just feel what my heart is asking me to, is just...
[overwhelmingly untitled]
And that's all I've got.
I hate people who throw pity parties, trying to draw attention to themselves, but in certain cases, the grief or whatever needs to be talked about-so this is my first fire hydrant I'm letting loose.
This hurts guys, in my heart, in my mind, in the back of my eyes...it just, I feel sad.
And what's worse, that right now, Big Daddy Weave's song, "I'm overwhelmed" is playing! it's not worse, but i'm so overwhelmed. And i know God is gonna do amazing things, even through the glory of His saints going to join Him in a beautiful place.
[untitled grief] doesn't destroy, but lets you feel-don't ever be afraid to feel.
LizB
"'the thing about pain, is that it demands to be felt"'-The fault in our Stars