When people say something to me that feels like a slash against my spirit, I remember it is about them, not about me. I ask myself, “What is it in his life experience that has him say those words in that way?” and “Does she speak that way to everyone?” Chances are his life has been shaped by people who talk the way he talks. Chances are she speaks that way to everyone she encounters.
My mother drilled into my head “Think before you speak,” so I tend to think (perhaps too much) before I speak. Wisdom comes after a couple hours and to some my silence may seem like weakness.
To those people, my silence is weakness because their opinion is about whom?
Their opinion is about them. My opinion is about me.
Instead, let’s take a look at the facts of what actually took place:
Someone said something.
I responded.
Both the saying and the response, unless we are conscious and aware, are completely created out of our life long habits that are shaped by a multitude of factors from biology to environment to temperament to the group culture we inhabit.
For today, pay attention to your world without making anything anyone else does be about anything but them. What they do isn’t about me, it is about them. Any words they say directed to me are actually a reflection of them, whether I see them as loving words or angry words.
I need to tell myself that again: "Any words they say are actually a reflection of them, not me."
I’ll be consciously turning the mirror to myself, seeing how what I am reflecting back into the world, especially in response to those whose words feel like a slash to my spirit
I will look into the mirror and ask, "Am I making a positive contribution to the people who surround me?"
What can I do to make the space I am in better for everyone?
Take a moment to ask yourself the same questions. I will ask myself these same questions repeatedly and use them as a guide to shift my thoughts and behavior accordingly.
Imagine what would be possible if we, each and all, paid close attention to our world around us and the individuals who inhabit it.
You have the power to create your world through your thoughts and actions. People may say things and do things you would never do. That is about them.
You are about you.
Be the you who is making a positive contribution to your world in all your thoughts and actions. Make your difference.
Boldly begin writing the next chapter of your life.
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Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, performance poet, Mommy and mixed-media artist. Coming soon - more creativity camps, playgrounds and workshops to grow yourself artistically (and hey, just for fun!)
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