Self Expression Magazine

What Terrible Toy Did Your Child Receive This Xmas? Ever Heard of Baby Alive??

Posted on the 27 December 2012 by Martinisandminivans @martinisandmini
She might look cute, but she poops 15 times a day...

She might look cute, but she poops 15 times a day…
(pic from www.hasbro.com)

Before I had children, I would buy kids whatever toy I thought would be fun for them to play with.  Usually it was something with tiny little parts and ridiculously loud noises and battery requirements (Sorry Jen, I believe I bought your children Polly Pockets when I was young, childless and stupid…). Then, I had children, and more specifically, toddlers.  I quickly learned that the best presents are those that give the gift of silence, lack of assembly and no further purchases required.

This Christmas, one of my family members, who will remain anonymous  (though, cough, cough, it might be my sister-in-law…) asked what she should get my four-year-old daughter.  I had seen my daughter play at a friend’s house with a Baby Alive doll that had plastic food and fake bottles.  So I quickly told her to get that and never realized all the options one has when buying such a doll. So what did she decide to buy?  She picked a baby who actually pees, poops, eats real food, and needs to have special diapers bought for it.   The doll also talks endlessly in a computer-like voice that constantly requires my translation for my daughter. Yep, my sister-in-law screwed me. In her defense, I did ask her to buy it.  However, when someone tells you to buy their child a drum, they don’t mean an entire drum set.

Speaking of drums… I’m now seeing one of that gigantic drum sets in store for my niece’s future.  Revenge will be sweet….

 


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