You know like when you wanna do things that aren’t a good idea…and there’s that little voice in your head that sorta sounds like a Munchkin saying, “Noooo, don’t dooooo iiiiiit!”
…But then it “accidentally” happens, anyway?
Yeah.
I’m like the Captain of that team right now.
…And what’s so funny about this (not really, but lets just pretend for a moment, shall we?) is that I actually DO so few legitimate “bad idea” things, that when I finally make a choice leaning that way, it is so BLARINGLY obvious just how bad the idea is, and that I am CLEARLY too smart to get caught up in shenanigans of that kind. And you have to admit it, cuz if not, then you’ve just been “duped” and that’s even worse than the other thing.
I am a smart person.
…Just, by and large…”in general.” (And extremely humble, P.S.) There IS no excuse for the predicament I find myself in, other than I totally knew what was going to happen…in my guts…but decided just to ignore it. Cuz sometimes, doing the “right thing” all the time, gets really fucking old.
True story.
…But then when you’re done “being an idiot” about reality and things, you are sitting here…like I am, for instance…feeling like a total asshole, but not in the way you would necessarily think. Hurt feelings aren’t involved. I’m not any poorer than I was before. I still have all my limbs and no stitches, or police record…and I didn’t gain any enemies. I guess if you stack all that up, my payback isn’t nearly as bad as it has every right to be.
…My deal right now, is that I just feel like a giant idiot. And I can’t stand “idiots.” I make fun of them every fucking day in this blog. And now I have to take a break from doing that for a while, if only because of the butt-wad of hypocrisy involved, if I, say, call others out for things that blow my mind-balls with the scale of stupidity it represents, when I know what went down in my own little world, so recently.
Essentially, what I’m saying is: I’ve screwed up several perfectly good bitching blogs because I can’t double-standard in front of you all, about the things that piss me off that other people do, when they know they just fucking shouldn’t.
That’s all.
…Which leaves what exactly then, for me to write about?
Pumpkin lattes and this book I’m sorta trying to read, seem safe. I’ll just stick with those.
…Fuck.
~D
