You guys will never believe what happened to me today! … Or on second thought, maybe you will!
By now you know there’s always some random shenanigan for me to contend with– which is why I started a blog in the first place!
So Here Goes…
So my friend Alicia and I decide to venture off the beaten path to have lunch at one of her favorite spots– Columbia Restaurant in St. Augustine!
(Nice spot to try if you’re in the area! Great food and drinks, open seating, and relaxing atmosphere… it always gives me a “South Beach Florida” feel for some reason! It’s usually packed with a long wait time, but if you make a reservation; you’ll waltz right in! I digress.)
So we make to St. Aug. and immediately…
- Meet the masses– It’s lunchtime on Saturday in “The Nations Oldest City” and the tourists are everywhere. That’s Normal!
- Detour like crazy– They’re doing construction downtown and basically none of the normal tiny streets are open, GPS is confused and leads right into every single “Road Closed” sign posted. So we’re on or own– bobbing, weaving, and zigzagging through the Nation’s Oldest streets. That’s Abnormal!
- Cross paths with maniac– Yep! I’m pretty sure he was put in our path by the sweet Lord above to test us! (actually… to test me in particular, because I was driving.) That’s RIDICULOUS!
We make it to Columbia’s parking lot just in the nick of time to make our reservation and the parking lot is full– of course! Just as we roll our eyes, a truck cranks and leaves a spot open just for us!– Perfect! As I round the corner to park, I see a guy on the phone walking to our spot. I just knew he walking past the spot, but OH NO, he was walking INTO our spot to hold it for relatives that were circling St. Augustine– like we had done– to find a spot.
So I put my blinker on and say, “Am I being Punk’d?” Alicia says, “He can’t be serious!”, and we wait for him to move.– but he doesn’t. He ignores my blinker and continues to talk on his cell phone. After dropping my jaw, I roll down my passenger window, lean over Alicia and it goes a little something like this…
Me: Hi. (totally monotone) We’re trying to park.
Alicia: Can you get out of the space?
He: (still on the phone, and turns to us) I’m saving this space.
Me: We have a reservation to make.
He: I do to. Some of my party is inside and I’m waiting on two more.
Alicia and I: (in unison) They’re not here, and we are. Please move.
He: Oh come on! (rolls his eyes like we’re bothering him while stands in the space) I’m holding this space for my son.
Alicia: Ok. Do I need to call the police?
He: Go ahead!
*At this point cars are behind us trapped in this mini parking lot (unable to get around us), and honking, while we try to get this guy to step out of the parking space!
Me: No one is parking here but us! (and I meant it)
Alicia: (calls Columbia explains the foolishness, and asks a manager to come to the parking lot)
*More honking coming from the growing car pile-up!
He: (still standing, returns to his call)
Me: (getting more and more pissed as the seconds pass)
Just when I couldn’t take anymore, (and may have said, “I need a taser!”) his party arrived and took another spot that had just opened, and he left the space; releasing us and the others that were held hostage in their cars.
What a class act! Alicia and I met the manager that was coming to our rescue in the entrance of the Columbia and we made sure to scowl and point at “Mr. Parking Putz” (like 1st graders) while we explained the scenario just as he and his party entered the restaurant behind us.
All things considered, I PASSED THE LORD’S TEST!
- I didn’t scream or curse (I didn’t even say “hell”)
- I didn’t honk or lay on my horn– yes I considered that, but I didn’t
- I didn’t approach him after we parked
- I didn’t hit him with my car while he stood in the space
- I didn’t grab a loose piece of nearby cobblestone and hurl it at him
Are you proud of me? I was kinda’ cool, calm, and collected while knee-deep in riff-raff… and I didn’t even have my “WWDJ” bracelet on!
