Growing up I always felt like I was missing something in my life. It tough to describe to someone who doesn't know, but you are left with a void. I always wanted to know what characteristic or mannerism I've gotten from who.
When I was younger I felt like I was never good enough to know who he was or to even meet him. I honestly never wanted anything financially from his family. I just wanted to know him and his family.
Now I will never be able to find out. I rcently found out that he died. When someone told me I was taken back. I didn't know how to respond. I felt sad because I could never ask him any questions. Why didn't you want anything to do with me? Why?
It took a long time to be ok with everything. I know that I have a dad that has always been there for me. I have a dad that took me as his own. This guy that I never met is the one that is missing out. I am no longer missing out.
It has been about a week since I have found and I thought I would have some sense of closure. I thought I was over everything, but maybe if you cover up it up long enough or don't talk about it you'll forget about it. At least that's the way I feel.
