On a particularly drab Sunday, boredom struck at approximately 2:17 a.m. When boredom hits a sometimes insomniac, certain things that one would find exceedingly dull become the most interesting things in the world, like infomercials or, in this case, special features on The Edge of Reason DVD.
Under the special features, there was a "Who's Your Man" quiz. All I have to do is answer a series of questions and it will choose a man that is right for me. At the end of the quiz, it will evaluate my answers and show me who my perfect partner is: Mark Darcy or Daniel Cleaver.
If I get Daniel, I should just hang up underwear and call it a day, I thought to myself.
Here is a sampling of the questions and answers I selected:
What is your idea of a perfect kiss? So, it's going to be either sweet, tender, with a bit of tongue or passionate, purposeful, all tongue. Well, ideally you want the sweet to end up at the passionate, so both...but I can't choose both. Dilemma. I guess if we're talking for starters, I'd go with the sweet, tender, bit o' tongue.
You've just seen an unfaithful ex after a long time. How do you react? Easy, I remember how miserable he made me feel.
How do men in tuxedos make you feel? Um, hot under the collar, for sure. James Bond, anyone?
After more questions like the above, it was finally time to find out who my perfect man will be! Terribly exciting for a boring night!
Daniel ding-dong, but v. bad:
Credit: Universal Studios Publicity Photos
Or Mark, double ding-dong and v. good:
Credit: Universal Studios Publicity Photos
Mark or Daniel...Mark or Daniel...who will it be?
Ah, here comes my ideal mate!!!
*Screen Flash*
Neither Mark nor Daniel is right for you.
WHAT?! NEITHER?! THAT WASN'T AN OPTION WHEN I STARTED THIS DANG QUIZ!!!!
You are too carefree and cool to let any man tie you down. You are enjoying being single on your terms. The chase and being in control are what turn you on. You're not ready to fall in love, settle down, and have babies--there are just too many men and not enough time.
HUH?! Apart from being single on my terms, I must wholly disagree with its entire evaluation.
This is where boredom turned into determination: I retook the quiz...several times...until I got an actual man. Pathetic, I know, but I suddenly thought I might jinx myself if I accepted "neither" as my answer.
Finally, I got a man:
Credit: Universal Studios Publicity Photos
Mark Darcy: You are a Mark girl. You're looking for a man who accepts you for what you are and loves your wobbly bits. Mark is that sort of man: kind, considerate, coy, stable, and sweet. Men like Mark are gentlemen through and through and beneath that conservative exterior beats a heart of gold, which needs a woman like you to keep it pumping.
Ah, much better. Perfectly on point. I approve. See, it got me absolutely right! *we won't mention its initially incorrect assessment or the subsequent tries it took for the dang thing to finally give me a man*
