Cheapened

My dad, the one who I cut out of my life until I can learn to cope with his controlling narcissistic self, has been trying to get ahold of me. I blocked his number on my phone (thanks AT&T Smart Limits) so that he wouldn’t continue to send me disparaging texts. Also, I blocked his third wife and his third fiancée (two separate women) because they were harassing me as well. A whole crap ton of blocking over here! He asked my aunt to reach out to me to see if I had changed my number. Then he tried getting my sister to forward texts to me. Today, he texted Mori.
Mori is well aware of the family drama since Day One. I remember just blurting “My dad is an emotional and verbal abuser, as well as a serial cheater” our second time hanging out. Yes, I am insane but he didn’t run away! Over the last few years Mori has watched me fall apart over texts. He witnessed my emotionally crippled self early on one of first dates when I arrived 10 minutes late and started bursting into tears asking him to not yell at me (psycho!). Apart from being a third party to all this, he has not been involved in the arguments. My dad never directly communicated with him.
To say I’m pissed that he contacted Mori is an understatement. I am livid. It is not enough that he has dragged his three children through hell and back with two divorces and a broken engagement. It is not enough that he decided to get married 13 MONTHS after knowing a woman I met four times. Nope, he has to try and bring in the love of my life into the fight.
I guess the first part of his text was nice and all. He congratulated Mori and said he was proud to have him as a son in law. (He should be proud that anyone wanted my crazy self after the shit he put me through, Mori deserves a medal) He couldn’t stop there. He could never stop at something so nice.
He offered Mori money in the form of a “grant” for medical school. I’m a tax accountant – I believe the 2013 gift limit is $26,000 per married couple. This amount of money is chump change to him and by using the gift exclusion it is benefiting him in the long run when his estate doesn’t have to pay taxes on that amount. Maybe I haven’t made this clear in my previous posts: Yes, I am concerned that we owe so much money, but we are nowhere near the danger zone of poverty. We may even have to "struggle" with not taking European vacations for the next several years, but we will pay off that debt quickly when Mori has an income. In fact, I look forward to paying that monthly premium because we are doing it with OUR money from OUR hard work.
Something about him offering Mori a substantial amount of money makes me sick. Mori told me he feels dirty just reading that text, like it’s a type of bribe to get me to talk to my dad. I feel like my pride has been injured. We both know that money comes with huge strings attached and I can already see the noose forming. Been there, done that, it’s not worth it. Why my dad cannot see the problem with this is astounding. Do not teach your child honesty and then abandon them for telling the truth. And don't offer money in the form of assistance when it really entitles the receiver to give all control to YOU. Nothing is free - never forget that. (and yes I disabled comments because I'm not soliciting advice, just getting my feelings out there)