Self Expression Magazine


Posted on the 27 November 2013 by Ileodarod @ilevillegas
I don't even know where to begin. And it's because I didn't know how to begin blogging again that further stretched my blogging hiatus to almost 3 months. 
So what happened? 
Quite frankly, I got busy.
And whenever I tried to squeeze blogging into my busy schedule last September, I realized that I just can't write anything. It didn't help that the pictures are all ready nor the fact that I have lots of posts that are already in draft. That's when I realized that I'm experiencing burn-out. Blogging burn-out. And I need a break.
Bigger isn't Better
In some cases it is but in my case, it proved to be the main source of burn-out. My posts are getting longer and longer with more and more pictures. Taking pictures alone takes hours as I usually have to setup my tripod and camera. Choosing which pictures to post has become a feat too. Sometimes I take a full set and realize during post-processing that I don't like them so I retake everything. Everything has become time-consuming and and it's not like blogging is my full time job. 
Lost Joy
I remember the days when I would blog just for the love of it. Back in 2006, I had about 2 followers(real life friends who also blog) and 30 posts and I was happy with that. Sure I mostly blog about my petty sentiments, things that don't contribute to society at all and are probably only interesting to stalkers(if I had any, but my stats show I don't). I used to blog in an internet cafe or at home via dial-up. Things were so much simpler then. 
I'm not saying I want things to be back to the way they were. I'm not that melodramatic. What I miss though is that old drive that allowed me to keep on waiting for 2 minutes before a page loads or pay P15 per hour for the internet just so I can open and blog my heart out.
My old emo self has long walked out the door and into a far-away past. What remains is a lady who loves color and cherishes life. But the latter has less joy in blogging. The irony.
I've mentioned this plenty of times in the past. A few years back, I practically had zero beauty habits. Yeah I bathe regularly, wear deodorant, brush my teeth, wear clean clothes. But that's about it. And it's not because I'm passive or oblivious about my appearance. 
It's because I was raised in a home where any form of vanity is shunned. My mom probably keeps only one tube of red lipstick and that's because she needs it for work. (Later of course I found out people usually gift her with lipsticks and since she's not interested, I now get to keep them. HAHA). My mom hates shopping and so I've always been poorly dressed. But then a few years ago, I had an epiphany. I realized I had to take care of myself. I had to transform. 
When that decision ripened, I went full speed ahead, opposite the direction I was previously going. That's when this blog became a beauty blog.
And that's how the ugly duckling became a swan.... 
But then she also realized that she's not a swan. She's a duck wearing swan feathers.
I am not a beauty and fashion blogger.
Sure I obsess with make-up and skincare. But I came to a point where I realized I'm just hoarding. I don't even get to use everything. And it's a very very unhealthy habit that I need to stop. Not only is it bad for my budget, it encourages excessive spending too. 
Also, I don't really dress as well as most people. I love pretty dresses as much as the next person and once in a while I actually get to wear a decent coordinate. But my personal style is too..... well, personal. It doesn't suit everybody. And I usually dress down. I usually go downtown wearing just a pair of shorts and a souvenir shirt (the ones from Vigan has really nice prints). 
I am still incapable of giving beauty advice. Yes I can talk to you about products I used, but beyond that, I'm just as clueless as the person asking. 
I am not capable of being trendy or even artistic the way fashion bloggers are.
I needed a full stop to check if I'm still on the right path.
What now?
The whole time I was absent at blogger, I'm very much present at tumblr. My tumblr blog is a photo blog. It isn't as difficult to maintain as this one because I just post pictures whenever I feel like it. I don't reblog and do those stuff that others in tumblr do. Lately though, I noticed that my posts in tumblr are starting to become longer and longer. I am genuinely starting to enjoy blogging again! 
That's when I knew I'm ready to go back to blogger.

Less is More
Yes. There will be a few changes with the way I blog here. I will have to blog less, so I can blog more. One post a week is better than suddenly having a 3-month long stop because of burn-out. I will be less meticulous with pictures too. I have to learn a thing or two from blogs that don't contain much pictures, but are teeming with good content.
Officially Back
So I am officially back. I've been gone for only three months but I can say I had the space I badly needed so I can go running again.  
Thanks for reading!

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