Diaries Magazine

I Hate Them

Posted on the 13 February 2016 by Arwinkim
Who do I hate? It's actually my brother and their father. They are particular people I hate the most that makes me like this. I don't even want to recognize them my family. I have severe mental ill because of them. I have phobia to see people eyes, but if I do, it turn me to be anxious. It's because of trauma when I got when I was kid. There is usually fight between siblings in a family, but in my case it stepped out the line. My brothers and their father tell everything bad about me to make people hate me. Their bad behaviors destroyed my life. You see because of this, I am always bullied, mocked, and even ignored. Do you know how it feels? It gives me an awful traumatic events to see people. I am afraid to see people especially seeing their eyes. They call me CRAZY. My family makes me crazy. I am crazy. Hope they are satisfied.
It happened when I was an elementary school student until I went to the high senior school. I jailed myself in the home. Going to school was the only way to get me out from the jail. My social life completely broken. It really hurts because I don't have many friends. I have weird behaviors as result of my mental ill. Moreover, I didn't care about my look at the time, but somehow I needed attention because I was always ignored.
It's really confusing me. I never put my brothers in trouble but why they always bullied me? Do they hate me that much? I respect people to tell me in the face what I have done wrong, instead of making it a sarcasm insulting-song for me.It hurts so much but I am too weak to fight. But if they will do something worse to me, then I don't hesitate to file a complaint to throw them away to the jail. I don't care anymore, I would even risk my life to do it. I have serious disease anyway, which is one of the most stigmatised diseases in the world. Death is nothing to me but a door to end this ridiculous ####. I am responsible of what I am doing before society and God. I never asked to be born. Still, I am grateful to taste the world. This is a bitter honest of mine. Thanks for reading this trash, whoever you are.

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