This has nothing to do with the blog but it's funny. So this morning I was watching the news and Eamon Holmes and a few others (including Tania Fucking Bryer, who honestly infuriates me to the point where I can actually feel my temperature rise, she just talks out of that face of hers and everything that comes out seems to be outdated, nonsensical fucking bullshit. She is so out of touch that it hurts my ears to hear her voice anything that she thinks in that wasted brain of hers) were discussing the fact that one in three women watch porn on a regular basis and that this is unhealthy, how it distorts the perceptions of what a relationship and sex should be. How it ought to be censored, if not completely blocked. No. No! NO. NO! FUCKING NO!!Porn is not unhealthy in my opinion (unless its like illegal shit, then you can fucking burn in hell). Not being a user myself I can only go by conversations and media and as far as I can tell porn allows young people to figure out their preferences and dislikes when it comes to sex, without having to actually act it out themselves. Most of the porn that people watch, they don't particularly want to act out. Gawker, The Daily Telegraph and The Huffington Post all have run articles stating that straight women are watching far more lesbian porn than ever, why? When they were asked they said that it was just more visually pleasing and that it was more emotional and pleasure orientated but they also said that they wouldn't want to be with a women in real life. Most of what happens in porn that individuals consume, often doesn't translate over to their own sex life. Porn has been a multi-million pound industry for decades, the only things that have changed over that time is the availability of it and the increase of genres. Porn has become something that people can access at the touch of a few buttons, from the comfort of their own home, via any device that can connect to the internet. I'm not saying that all types are healthy and not absolutely terrifying- I'm sure there are many, many, many types of porn that would make most peoples skin crawl (including myself) and turn them off more than anything. But from what I can gauge via media coverage "normal" sex is still the most mainstream. What do you want young people to do? If they have casual sex- they are std ridden, reckless sluts/fuckboys with no respect for relationships and the art of "making love"; if they are in relationships you say that they are far too young to be in something so serious and that they should be concentrating on education not getting their rocks off. If they watch porn and masturbate, they are a generation of instant gratification with a warped sense of what sex and the human form. In the UK the Sexual Education that we receive is so pathetic, ill-devised and outdated. It is unbelievable how much we are not told and how much is glazed over. Young people are drowning in hormones and you don't teach them enough about sex, you don't want them to have sex, casually or whilst in a relationship and you don't want them to masturbate. When they get roofied and raped you don't protect them, you claim it is their own fault. When they express their sexuality "they are going through a phase". When they don't express themselves, they suffer later on in life because they didn't have much experience when they were young and you tell them they ought to have had "a slutty phase" because "everyone does, it is how you figure out what you like". But you adults can have 50 Shades of Fucking Grey, the books and the movies, you can sit in broad daylight and fucking read that shit. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DO YOU WANT THE POOR FUCKERS TO FUCKING DO?People can have strange fetishes and act them out but they cannot watch others getting paid to do so. If you are going to censor and ban the viewing of such content, surely you ought to ban the acts themselves. If you don't want people watching it, why would you want people doing it? "Thats is it guys, you can only have sex in missionary, no foreplay for you either and only for 15 minutes on a Saturday because Sunday is the Lords day and we don't want you distracted during the working week. Soz". You can have sex at 16 but you cannot watch porn. So if you were to film yourself having sex and upload it to a porn site, you wouldn't be able to watch yourself having sex. The sense that this makes, is hurting my brain. Every child is different and they hit puberty at different times and deal with it differently. We need to stop skirting around the main point of puberty and being so embarrassed about it. Stigmatising it is half of what makes puberty so goddamn hard and cringey. Until your child hits puberty, keep parental control on. Things like safe-filtering and blocking sites all together will help you protect your child. You can work together with your service provider to maintain a safe environment for your child to use the internet in, that goes for any device your child uses. You don't have to be over their shoulder every second of the day to keep them safe. I know for a fact that when my son hits puberty and both my husband and I, feel the time is appropriate we are going to unblock certain sites because we as parents, would much rather he was safe and not harming anyone, than getting it on with some random girl behind the bike sheds. I am going to give him as much healthy, constructive and comprehensive information as I can because its what they don't know that drives them to type it into google. You cannot stifle sexual desire. Stop giving abstinence as the only option. Don't penalise young people for having feelings. Give young people a more detailed, better developed - emotional and physical education of sex. Sex isn't and shouldn't be taboo. It is a natural human desire. Why are we so afraid to talk about it? If we were as afraid of having sex as we are talking about it, the world would be a much more sparsely populated place. If you speak to people that work in GUM clinics, I'm pretty sure they will tell you about how little young people really know about keeping safe and sex.But we also need to give young people some credit for the initiative they take, abortion rates among teens have gone down, young pregnancies have gone down, STD screening has gone up and the use of contraception is more prevalent. Young people are trying to keep safe. We just need to give them the tools. Parents, teachers, the government. Everyone needs to work harder to help raise our children in a way that is healthy. Look at Sweden, they are so chill when it comes to talking about sex, granted perhaps a bit too chill but I think we can learn a little from them. Also, this is of absolutely no value, but I find it too funny not to include. 
What do you think? Are we protecting or hurting our young people by stigmatising and demonising sex?Love,Monica xxx
