Towards the end of last year, I was in a bad place. I was in a hundred different places at the same time and not, you know? I was literally all over the place. I was trying to make people happy and because of that, I neglected taking care of myself. I had nothing nice to say about every one and any one, I was jealous and I was told that I was a shit friend because was not stepping up and keeping my end of the deal. At the end, things spiraled out of control and I found myself tired, sad and nearly went down that rabbit hole.
I cried and poured my heart out to my husband and my long time friend, Roy. Obviously being guys, they saw it differently than I do. They were confused as to why I was upset and sad. What they told me turned me around though. Let it go. Learn to let go of the things that I can not control go. Pretty simple right? LET IT GO. Just like the song. Just let it go and for the most part of it, I let it go.
So on New Year's day, like everyone else, I made a vow, this year, I am changing the way I deal with things. Learning that everything that went or will go wrong, is a lesson that I have to learn. I will learn, and is still learning, how to accept the negativity as part of growing. We all need a little negativity in our life but it's there to teach and tell us something. It's there to serve as a reminder not to take that path again and learn to appreciate the little things in life. So I am still slowly letting it go. Still learning. Surrounding myself with friends and people that give me strength and encouragements and so far, so good. Just the other night, M told me that he has noticed that I have changed. He noticed that I am being so much more positive about things in life and I have learnt how to let things that we can not control go.
With the few negative people in my life, I know that, personally, it's not me that they have a problem with. It's how they feel about themselves. Something that I can not control. I will continue to provide them support and encouragement but the one thing that have changed, I am not going down that path anymore. It's not worth it. Sure I have lost a friend or two, but I think, if they can't accept that, then they will know where to find me when they finally do. I will greet them with open arms.
