Making a Human is Hard

So two months ago I had my baby and I've just spent the last few weeks figuring out how to be a mom. But anyways the birth of my chiiiild for you to read :)Baby Thalukdher5.7lbs1:05am September 23rd 201416 hours of labor. Natural birth with gas/air and diamorphine. My hubby was in the bedroom and I was making his lunch for work and my waters broke like Hollywood style - a big gush, not a little pop and a trickle like they said! It was a giant gross gush. After which I basically screamed to my hubby that my waters had broken. I'm not gunna lie I was panicking slightly and I was nervous but only because I hadn't had my birthing plan appointment so I didn't particularly know what was happening or to come so I think it was justified. I grabbed my hospital bag, notes, got dressed while my hubby called the ambulance and my Maa. We arrived at the hospital and they hooked me up and had me seen to quite quickly, when I arrived I was 2 centimetres dilated but my contractions were minimal so they put me on the druuuuuugs to speed things up but it made little mans heart rate drop so they took me off it, however this cycle continued about four times. That stuff is fucking evil - like genuinely I'm pretty sure its distilled satan pee. 
Me and Raj basically laughed and played music for the first couple of hours and then my family arrived but  the whole time it pretty much stayed like that- well, until I just stopped talking and just cried every now and again between kicking the fuck out of the foot of the bed and screaming on occasion. We had loads of sweets with us so we just had a really weird sleepover tbf lol. I'm a swearer as we all know and I didn't disappoint, I swore loads but only at my Maa and Raj but I swear at them all the time. I think at one point my hubby said something like "I bet you've lost your singing voice!" And I just stuck two fingers up at him. We just played music and messed around until like two hours before he was born. My brother and hubby kept telling me when a contraction was coming or how big it was like I didn't know but I found it funny.My jaw still hurt from biting the gas and air attachment for like daaaays after. My feet hurt from kicking the bed. I think the worst bit of the whole thing was the suture - seriously don't look at those things, I can't even... Nope. Just no. 
My family didn't leave my side, it was so amazing. All the midwives and doctors kept saying the same thing "you're so chilled out". There was a really great vibe in the room, like it wasn't intense or scary- it was really emotional and strong. Everyone was relaxed. 
It wasn't as undignified either, like I've seen One Born Every Minute, that shit is scaring. I thought I was going to feel really undignified and horrid but it wasn't like that. My Maa and hubby made sure I was covered when I couldn't, I didn't feel the need to have my legs splayed open the whole time, no one apart from the midwife and doctors were allowed to even stand past my waist and I made a lot of noise but I felt like I was very much justified and my midwifed were wonderful they made me feel so supported and looked after. I felt safe in their hands. 
Although it was really hard physically and mentally like totally exhausting, my family really looked after me. They took turns to hold my hand and play with my hair, they held the gas and air thing for me. I squeezed everyone's hands. Tbh after a while I didn't know who's hand I was holding most of the time - I was so doped up on gas and air. 
I screamed in the last two hours but tbh the quieter I was it seemed to help me concentrate getting through the contraction. Tbh the last couple of hours everything happened so quickly. I went from 7 centimetres dilated to 10 in like a few minutes. And then I needed to push and it was really quick. The first thing I felt was "I love you". It was the first thing I said too. Then it was "I did it".
It was a crazy, amazing experience that I can only half recall and one which I will always cherish and never repeat lol. Seriously though I can't really remember much, the weird thing is every time I fell asleep for the first two days I kept going back to being in labor, like it was really vivid flash backs. I genuinely felt like I was still in labor. It was the oddest. 
Anyways I have a little midget baby to feed so laaaaaaterz lol
Love,
Monica             xxx