Lil’ Tiger is growing up really quickly. I realised the other day that she is gaining her independence and showing me her true personality now and it scares me. The fact that she is talking and communicating her feelings now is certainly a sign that she is a “big girl now”. Though part of me relish the fact that my little girl is able to take care of herself now but the other part of me is slowly dying because I am scared that one day, she may not need me anymore and I be made redundant.
The other morning, I was looking for some left over mooncake in our pantry and asking mum, if the ones that we have are red bean flavoured and when mom said there weren’t any left, I pouted and said “Owh well”. The Lil’ Tiger came up to me and gave me a cuddle and ask “Mummy are you upset?” I smiled and said “No, because it means that I can eat something else for breakfast.”
I was still in bed last Tuesday morning and the Lil’ Tiger came into my room and said “TADAA!!” and proceeded to twirl around in her dancing dress. I asked if grandma helped her change out of her pyjamas, “No mummy, I did it myself. I took my nappy off, put it in the bin and wore my dancing dress, mommy. I’m big girl now, I don’t need grandma to help me change.”
“Mummy, Laura and Kristen (her carers at day care) said I no need ruggy at school anymore, they say only use at home, so I don’t need ruggy in my bag now. I only use at home mommy ok”, she rambled on telling me that how she was a big girl now and she doesn’t need her ruggy, her muslin comforter that she use to hold to sleep every time since she was a baby, her one thing that would only stop her from being upset and the one thing that she needs the most when she needs comfort. She doesn’t need it anymore, well apart from sleep at night, because she is a big girl.
I know a child, no matter at what age, will always need their mums, but I just can’t help but think that one day, she may not need me anymore and until that day comes, I will welcome any cuddle and kisses that she would allow me to give or have.
