True Blood Tuesday: Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Episode nine, season five
Eric, Bill, Salome, Nora, Russell, Steve, & Authority: We start with a televised news report showing one of the largest True Blood factories outside of Houston, burning. Salome clicks off the t.v., commenting on how “its” begun. The members surround a naked man chained and gagged to the table. Salome wishes for a prayer before they feed; Russell turns to Eric, but our Viking defers, saying that prayer is a relatively new concept to him and it would perhaps be better suited for someone more experienced in such matters. Salome seems to think it’s her duty, but Steve Newlin cuts her off and offers up a rather disparaging blessing. While Russell revels in the humor, Nora and Salome appear to be offended. Salome then gives a proper prayer to Lilith…and they feed on the poor naked dude.
Note: First, did anyone notice Bill staring oddly at the naked dude? I’m thinking he is either conflicted or, perhaps, feeling a bit guilty?? Not sure. The bigger point of this scene, for me, was the subtle hint of a power struggle between Russell and Salome. Russell doesn’t seem to genuinely care about this whole Lilith thing—there is absolutely no way this guy sees Salome as his superior. No way.
Eric & Techie girl: Techie girl (the one who fitted Eric and Bill with stakes earlier on in the season) tries to leave the facility, but she cannot—only level one protocol allowed. She heads back to store her suitcase when Eric surprises her, holding her against the wall. She flashes her fangs and shows some grit, but Eric commands her to put away the offensive “baby fangs.” (Eric thought it was laughable that a baby vamp would even try against an aged vamp). Techie girl wants to know how they’re going to get out, but Eric was relying on her. She has a plan, but it could get him killed. Eric’s reply: “Perfect.”
Sookie & Lafayette (at Sookie’s house, in her bathroom): Sookie calls in Lafayette to see if he can get a vibe on her mysterious Warlow character. Though he can’t sense anything on her new enemy, he does hear her Gran (along with a bunch of other spirits). Gran tells Sookie that she’s pleased the fairies are looking after her, and then she relays something rather cryptic: You sleep on top of it. Sookie immediately pulls a chest from underneath the bed. Inside, we see a bunch of clippings and other childhood memories, like report cards and such.    Note: Lafayette STOLE the scene. Seriously, he’s just fabulous.
Jessica & Jason: Back at the police station, Jess is trying to explain that Hoyt is not one of the hater-morons. Jason walks in on the questioning and Jess tells him she can’t feel or sense Hoyt anymore.
Hoyt: This scene is brief, but we see Hoyt, tied and gagged, being dragged by someone off screen.
Sam & Luna: Luna assures Sam that the skin-walking won’t happen again…at least, she doesn’t think it will. While Sam prepares to go after the hater-morons, Luna gets out of bed, determined to join him. He doesn’t want her to go, but she’s insistent. During the fussing, Sam admits he loves her…she says it back…but they’re still fussy. Lol
Note: Luna and Sam are still one of my very favorite couples on True Blood. I’m glad they’re officially back together.
Arlene & Terry: Terry wants to offer Patrick a fair fight, but Arlene wants him to just go after the guy. She’s terrified, wondering why this woman-spirit is doing this to their family. Terry once again explains that it’s because of what he did in Iraq. He kisses her and leaves.
Pam & Tara at Fangtasia: While Pam watches live feed of the True Blood factory chaos on her hot pink computer, Tara sweeps in the office carrying about five or six cases of True Blood. Pam asks what she’s doing; Tara’s just trying to save the stuff for their personal benefit. Pam says they need to keep the True Blood flowing…to keep the peace…so the vamps don’t eat the human customers. When they run out, Pam says they’ll pretend to still be drinking the stuff, while discreetly feeding on humans. Tara already has it figured out: someone wants a bloodbath. Pam says she avoids two things: Humans who eat too much fish and politics. Tara tries to reach out to Pam, knowing she’s worried about Eric, but her maker zooms over and says, “Just because we drank a bitch together doesn’t make us Oprah and Gayle.” Tara snaps back with, “Suck me. Vampire Barbie.” LOL
Note: This has to be one of the best subplots on the show. Their interactions are absolutely brilliant, and I adore the emotional struggle between them. Pam and Tara are both independent, tough characters, yet you can see little cracks in their exteriors—they want to care, but they’re too afraid it will show weakness. They really are alike in many ways. By the way, did anyone else catch that glimmer of pride in Pam’s eyes when Taracalled her a Vampire Barbie?
Eric & Bill: While in a private area of Authority headquarters, Eric confronts Bill about his “brilliant” plan to blow up factories and start a civil war. Eric is convinced Bill is playing some game, but Bill actually thinks God may be a vampire—they saw Lilith, after all. Eric—a.k.a. the only one with reason—has to, yet again, remind Bill about how freaking high they were when they saw her. Bill says he’s lost, but Eric reminds him of Sookie, asking if she’s just food to him now, too. That rang a bell. Eric tells Bill he’s more of a mainstreamer than he’ll ever be. He needs Bill to get Salome’s blood in order for them to get out of the Authority building. Tomorrow, they’re gone. Eric, hearing cries from another room, says: “We better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God.”
Note: Eric is the ONLY sane vampire in the building right now…and maybe the Techie girl. Bill is annoying me. Badly.
Sookie & Lafayette: While digging through the box of memories, Sookie finds an article clipping on her parent’s murders. In the article, she sees that Bud Dearborne was the one who discovered the bodies. This, she believes, is what Gran was trying to tell her: that Bud Dearborne knows something.
Jess & Jason: Jason sends Jess home with a couple of Bill’s guards. Jess is afraid Hoyt might be dead…she can’t sense him at all. It’s like he just vanished. She makes Jason promise her that Hoyt will be okay.
Jason & Andy: Meanwhile, one of the cops discovers a website repeatedly visited by the hater-moron in custody. On the site, there’s a video of the hater-morons frying vamps in the sun while wearing Obama masks. In the video, one of the guys says, “Long live the dragon!” Jason says, “Oh, sh*! me, there’s dragons now, too.” LOL Andy tells him that the “dragon” was basically the head of the klan back in the day. Jason and Andy head back to question the hater-moron they have in custody about the identity of the dragon. Of course, he spouts hate at Jason…to which he receives a beating by both Jason and Andy.
Alcide: Al’s taking a drive and thinking back to when he was a teen. FLASHBACK: He’s remembering when his dad explained the concept of a pack to the young group of weres. There is a young girl next to Al—Debbie. On that day, the teens choose to join the pack, including Al and Debbie. BACK TO PRESENT: Al takes a turn and heads for Jackson
Note: It was actually pretty sad to see how sweet and in love Al and Debbie were back in the day. Alcide really hasn’t changed—he’s still just as caring and protective of those he loves. But, wow, it was shocking to realize how much Debbie changed.
Sookie & Bud Dearborne: While at Bud’s place, Sook questions him about bites on the bodies of her parents. He confirmed that it could have been a vamp that killed them, but since they didn’t know about vamps back then, they assumed it was gators. He then subtly condemns her for relating with vampires. He, in a way, blames her for her grandmother’s death—that Gran wouldn’t have died had Sookie not associated with vamps. Wow, he conveniently forgets how accepting and fascinated Gran was with them as well. She listens in on his thoughts, but he already knows that’s what she’s doing; he wants her to drink the ginger ale and worries that Sookie may already know what he’s hiding. Sook accidentally-on purpose spills the drink on him, grabs his hand, and asks him about Warlow. He knows nothing. She apologizes…but Bud’s lady lover whacks her over the head with a frying pan. Think we might have the dragon, here, folks.
Luna, Sam, & Andy: After sniffing out the hater-moron hideout once more, they report to Andy about smelling pig crap all over the place. Andy doesn’t allow them on the case, so Sam and Luna decide to shift into flies…ever want to be a fly on the wall?
Patrick & Arlene: Arlene tries to open up Merlotte’s for the day, but Patrick jumps her, holds a gun to her head, and forces her inside. He takes the keys and has her call Lafayette, telling him Sam shut down for the day.
Sookie: Sook wakes up with her hands and feet tied. She’s in a pigsty…literally. She sees Hoyt unconscious in another sty. She listens in on his mind, but he’s high as a kite. She tries to fairy zap herself free, but she’s not strong enough. An Obama-masked idiot walks in, ready for some moron-fun.
Andy & Jason: Jason is taking the blame for Hoyt—if he hadn’t slept with Jess, Hoyt wouldn’t have gone off the rails. Andy tells them they all have shortcomings: Jason follows his perky, while Andy is a bad cop—worst one Bon Temps has ever had. While Andy considers taking a page from Bob Dearborne’s book and retiring, he notices one of the hater-morons wearing cowboy boots on the video…the same Bud received at his retirement party. Jason and Andy know Bud’s the dragon…Luna and Sam now know as well (in their fly form).
Sookie & Bud: Bud and his girlfriend, Sweetie, reveal to Sookie that it’s their plan to take down the supes. Then, when the supernatural war is over, they will be heroes—their faces will be on flags and they’ll write new laws, outlawing the birth of any supernatural being. Clearly, the dragon is Sweetie—she’s running the show. Sook asks what happened to her to make her so cruel—she digs into her mind and sees Sweetie crying at a square dancing event after her husband left her for a shifter. Angry at Sookie for invading her memories, Sweetie insists that Bud feed Sook the drugged ginger ale, which he does.
Note: Major kudos to Sookie for maintaining her cool because the kind of hate spewing from Sweetie’s mouth would have seriously made me go all fairy blaster.
Andy & Jason: They raid Bud’s house, but all is dark, apart from a square dancing competition on television. Jason remembers Bud’s wife…her family owned a pig farm…pig crap.
Terry, Arlene, & Patrick: Terry shows up at Merlotte’s after dark. Patrick calls him on his cell as he approaches the door and tells him to disarm himself before entering. When he walks inside, Patrick has a gun to Arlene’s head. Though he doesn’t want to kill Terry, Patrick has a family and a baby on the way, and he must put them first. Terry asks for a fair fight, may the best man win—but Patrick knows Terry will win—he’s a better soldier and he’s stronger. He orders Terry to get on his knees, throws Arlene aside, and prepares to shoot him. Arlene pulls a pencil from her hair and stabs Patrick’s neck. She grabs the gun and holds it to Patrick’s head.
Eric & Nora: Eric talks about how nice it must be to find peace and faith. He asks how she found God—she said Salome let her taste Lilith’s blood. In that moment, she gave up the desire and angst of professional achievement—she had found a greater sense of purpose. Eric says he wishes it were that simple. Nora tells him it can be. Eric says he doesn’t want to fight her…he wants to believe. He asks for her help and they kiss. Ah, yeah, he’s so playing her.
Salome & Bill: Salome is doing a little dance while Bill sits naked in her bed. Salome reflects on her life up to this point—she has been nothing but the naked girl with a man’s head in her lap; now she will be linked to Lilith forever, and that will be her true legacy. She claims to have been chosen—she is Eve and Bill is her Adam…they will birth a new world together. Bill wonders if he really wants to be chosen. Salome falls back on the blood again, telling him Lilith’s blood is inside him—let it be his guide. He then starts having passionate sex with Salome, but almost instantly, he sees Sookie. Um, the reaction isn’t love—it’s hunger. In his vision, he drains Sookie…who somehow turns into a very bloody Lilith. She flips him over, and he bites her. His vision returns to reality, where Salome is atop him. He touches his teeth, sees blood, and seemingly wonders if it was all actually real.
Note: Bill, you idiot. You bit Salome, not Lilith. The blood on your teeth belongs to Salome. Fool.
Sookie, Hoyt, Bud, Sweetie: With their masks on, the hater-morons toss Sookie into the pigsty as pig food. But one of the pigs shifts into a naked man and catches her. Sam! Sam, with his cute bare bottom, beats the ever-loving crap out of the hater-morons. GO SAM! Jason, Andy, and the cops suddenly burst in. Bud has a shovel and yells, “Humans rule!” He lunges for Sam, but Andy shoots him dead. Upon hearing Jason’s voice, Sookie weakly calls to him, directing him to Hoyt.
Luna & Sweetie: Luna chases Sweetie, jumps her from behind, holds her down, and says, “That’s for shooting me, that’s for my boyfriend, and this is for my daughter, you human trash!” Whoo Hoo LUNA! GO LUNA!!!
Note: LOVING the shifter dominance, here. I’ve always felt they were unfairly labeled as the lesser supe, behind vampires and weres. Now, they get to show just how formidable they are.
Sam & Sookie: Back in the sty, Sam checks on Sook, who’s still a little woozy from the drugs. She asks him if he was a pig or if she dreamed that. LOL
Jason & Hoyt: Jason rushes to Hoyt, who looks pretty bad off. He tells him to hold on, holding him in his arms. Aww, Jason! You can tell Jason has so much remorse when he sees his former best friend barely hanging on.
Terry, Arlene, & Patrick: Patrick tries to talk Terry out of killing him, but the woman-spirit shows up and tells him to do what’s right. Terry fires two shots, killing Patrick. The woman smiles and says, “Blood has been paid with blood.” She then instructs the fire monster to take what’s his. The beast crawls from her mouth and engulfs Patrick’s body, taking it away.
Tara & Pam: Vamps are flooding Tara with orders for True Blood—the chaos is starting. Meanwhile, Pam notices a vamp in Eric’s throne, feeding on a human. She zips up to him, slams her foot into his chest, and tells him there’s no feeding on humans in Fangtasia…and he better get out of her maker’s chair before she stakes him all over it. The smug jerk informs her that the monarchs have lifted the ban on public feeding and named him the new sheriff of area five. He throws Pam across the bar—Tara rushes over to check on her maker. They look at each other severely when the new sheriff tells everyone to grab a human and eat…drinks are on him.
Andy, Sookie, Sam & Luna: Sookie asks about Hoyt. Andy says his pulse was weak and Jason would call as soon as there’s any news. Andy helps Sook in the car and is about to take her home when Sam catches up with him. Sam tells him he’s not the worst sheriff Bon Temps ever had—Bud had him beat by a mile. Aww. Sam must have heard Andy say as much when he was in fly-form at the police station. Luna rests her chin on Sam’s shoulder and says, “Let’s go get Emma.”
Russell, Steve, & the Pack: Russell talks of the joys of having weres for pets. Steve tells him he never had a pet. Russell assures Steve he will have the world if he sticks with him. He opens the barn and applauds J.D., the new pack master. Russell immediately feeds his blood to the pack, but he sees Martha isn’t taking. Martha is holding little Emma in were form. She said she chose her pack and swore to die for it, but she’d never drink his blood. Russell flies in, takes Emma from her arms, and gives her to Steve as his first pet. NOOOOOO! J.D. tried to stop him, but Russell showed him who’s boss by throwing him to the ground—his blood isn’t free. Poor Martha—she’s being held back by other weres, screaming for her granddaughter as Russell and Steve leave with were-Emma.
Note: Oh, no, no, no. I do NOT like this. Not at all. Luna is going to go ballistic and blame Martha. :( I actually feel really bad for Martha. Now, do you think this may be what draws Alcide back to be the hero? You know he has to take down J.D.
Alcide & his father: So, Al shows up at an old trailer where his father is drinking and watching a dog race on television. Al asks how much he’s gambled this time; he then tells his dad he lost pack master and has been abjured. His dad laughs and says he’s a lone wolf, just like his old man. Alcide says he’s nothing like him
Sookie & Fairies: Sook’s watching news reports on more True Blood factory explosions. Claude and two of his sisters bring Sook some soup and tell her not to believe the reports—vamps are behind everything. They’re taking over the world.
Eric, Nora, & Techie girl: Eric leads Nora to the front area of the Authority where the Techie girl is waiting. She shuts off the cameras, tosses Eric a needle, and he injects Nora with something to keep her passed out. Bill shows up at the last second—Eric said he had him worried for a minute. Bill just smiles. They use Nora’s blood to unlock the elevators. When they open, Salome and guards are inside!!! Eric bares his fangs, but he is overtaken as more guards show up. Bill set them up. Eric calls him an effing traitor. Bill says he’s doing this for Eric—he’s been chosen by Lilith, this is what God wants. Eric, realizing defeat, retracts his fangs and allows them to take him into custody.
Note: BILL, I CAN’T STAND YOU RIGHT NOW! Ugh. Anyone notice the look Bill had after Eric passed. Regret? Deeper purpose? Salome looked at him and smiled…I couldn’t read his look back to her. Hated Bill; loved the song they ended with—so perfect.
Okay. I’m wondering something—it’s a little out there, but here it goes: What if Salome drugged the supposed Lilith blood? The way Salome spoke of her legacy…redefining it, changing history—it just got me thinking that this whole Lilith thing may be an illusion she created in order to change her past. Remember when Eric asked Nora how she found God—Nora’s answer? Salome…she fed her the blood. Then, every time a vamp shows an ounce of doubt, she brings up Lilith’s blood. I may be way off with this theory, but it just popped into my mind as a possibility.