I planned to take a couple of weeks off from blogging during the holidays to concentrate on my family and to recoup prior to restarting school this Spring. What actually happened, as you can see, is that two weeks turned into more than a month off. But it wasn't to relax, I promise you.
At first, time away from my blog was exactly what I needed to recharge and reconnect with my hubby and the few friends I was able to squeeze in. But, as luck would have it, a few days into my break, my brother was hospitalized and my stepdaughter was informed that she was diagnosed with yet another, heart tumor.
Happy Holidays, they were not - so the break turned into sheer avoidance of the reality that lay ahead.
Between the uncertainty of my brothers hospital stay to the sheer panic in realizing that my stepdaughter would need a third open heart surgery, I also had to deal with the administrative processes that are mostly transactional, and the less sexy aspect, of the college application process.
While I was accepted to a local public college, with great pedigree I might add, my heart wasn't in it 100%. I had a bigger dream. And the dream was to join the illustrious community of Art Center College of Design, in Pasadena - as far fetched as that seemed.
As the clock ticked, the offer didn't come from my first choice. I wasn't, as you can imagine, happy. So avoidance was my solution.
It wasn't until two days prior to orientation that I was offered admission as one of 13 Film School candidates - one of only three women accepted- for the Spring, 2016 track!
Between hospital visits, calls, and worried nights that kept me up for many nights, I was -still am- beyond giddy to have be accepted into this top-notch program and completely understand the responsibility that my admission means to not just myself, but to the women, and Latinos, that will follow in my footsteps.
Through this all, while silent here, I discovered MeVee and made it a point to document what was going on in my life. I connected with a new community, shared deeper aspects of my life, and while disconnected here, I felt better knowing that a completely different community cared.
While I initially planned on updating this community at least once a week, I didn't. But what I did do, was go back to MeVee and listen to the stories others shared. There was some comfort in knowing that I wasn't alone and that funny daily stories about nothing made me laugh - and kept me going.
On other days, I replayed the videos that I had already recorded. First when I announced what was going on...and the third after being accepted into Film School. All videos, while unedited and raw, were real.
At first I planned on going back to videos to edit them to make them "pretty" and later upload them here. But after further thinking, I realized that while I could make a video pretty - the stories would stay the same. My life was, what it was. So I changed my mind...and while I can still back and edit those videos, because they will exist on the MeVee server as long as I don't delete them...I won't.
There's something comforting in knowing that while not perfectly coiffed or rehearsed, my stories, everyone's stories, connect with others on a deeper level - because they are truly about my real life.
Knowing that being real is *OK*, is yet another reason to be proud of humanity and to look forward to what lays ahead if we just give people a chance to be who we really are.
Ana Lydia
